Free People

hair and space and other lovely things.

2012-02-04T21:56:00.000-08:00

I've been itching to sew again. My machine has been packed away for over a year now.

It's not that I ever really wanted to stop sewing, it's just that I got busy with other things... plus we live in a really small house and pulling out the machine and everything that goes with it is... well, to speak plainly, space consuming. When fully engaged in a sewing project there is much to be found on the floor, add that to the bucket of kid garb you will normally find on my floor and yeah... its major.

Let me just tell you, I am a fabric addict. I LOVE beautiful fabric. I still have drawers full from before but I decided I would start anew with this...

The apple picking dress from Oliver + S paired with a lovely fabric from Joel Dewberry's Heirloom line.

Of course I have my favorites when it come to fabric designers, Joel Dewberry isn't usually lumped in with them but oh man when I saw this I could just feel it in my bones! This was it!

I posted a couple photos on my flickr and got an amazing response. I was so happy to read such fabulous comments. I think my favorite comment was "This is the first time I have liked that pattern. That fabric is Gorgeous and the girl too."

I mean who wouldn't be excited to hear things such as that!?!

Oh that hair! We talk about cutting it daily, She and I. Somehow we just never get around to it. And we go back and forth, sometimes she's for it and I'm against it, and then other times vice versa.

Today it's vice versa.

I should probably tell you its not naturally curly and ridiculously awesome. I curled it for her. Normally its just kind of ratty on the ends. It really does need a trim.

I've been spending hours and hours lately pouring over patterns and fabrics. Guess what?! I found a few new fabric designers I am in love with. You see, this is what happens when you go on such a long hiatus!

Laura Gunn has some beautiful stuff in her Magnolia Lane and Poppy Collection that I am pretty excited about. Also really liked many of Dena Designs fabrics.

And how did I ever not know about the lovely Tilda? With her I am excited about alot more than just her fabrics! She has all kinds of things to keep me busy :)

I probably never mentioned before how I want to make dolls have I? No, I don't think I have, but now you know! I want to do them with Natalie. I think she could really get into something like that!! She is always asking for my fabric scraps. I hesitate to give them to her wondering how on earth she will make good use of them, occasionally I just find it chopped up in a pile on the floor. Honestly, its painful even if it was a scrap! I could have made a pocket with it! Making dolls could be just what we need ;)

I shot this (or something similar) on film. There is something about how the light hits her face... ah love. Can't wait to see the film image. I kept thinking when I was looking at this that I wished I had focused more precisely. It's hard to tell on this small sharpened image but her face is a little soft. *crossing fingers that I did better on film*

I woke up with a sinus infection today. It felt like the worst kind of torture ever because it was such a beautiful day today. I don't know why but sinus infections ground me. I am just useless as ever. Anyway I could see how gorgeous a day it was from the windows and it was hard to not be bitter having to lie in bed and watch the day go to waste.

Well if I could say one nice thing about today it was that I had some fluffy pancakes with sauteed peaches on top paired with some fresh squoze grapefruit minneola juice. yum. Yes, I fudged on the gluten free today.

oh I guess I may not have mentioned that I went gluten free. Well more on that later, but basically I am doing it in support of my daughter Kassidy, who has many troubles in school. Just something were trying. You've got to try when it come to your kids... you just have to.

:) J

coming soon

2012-02-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

Some much needed Lu on the blog.

+ I've started sewing again.

<3 Jill

Things that happened today

2012-01-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

inside

outside.

make sense?

or in other words...

one side of the door vs. the other.

jill

I have really good ideas.

2011-12-28T17:46:00.000-08:00

We did something a little out of the ordinary this year for Christmas.

I had such a magnificent plan. (Chad would disagree on the magnificent part)

Poor little Kassidy hates her room. The walls are pink. PINK I tell you!!

We would spend all of Christmas eve painting over the pink walls kassidy so detested and surprise her on Christmas morning with pretty new bedding and walls.

If we were going to pull off this surprise we were going to have to be a little sneaky.

Soooooooo... we spent the night at grandma's house.

Yep, late at night we loaded up our sleigh and hauled everything over to granny's. Except the walls... they were drying. Huge thanks to mom and dad for keeping the girls busy all day while we worked :)

By 2am I was rethinking the brightness of my magnificent plan... also Chad wanted to kill me.

And even though it was a ton of work, I didn't get to see my kids much, Chad wanted to kill me, and we got almost no sleep...

it was worth it.

I am positively positive that this will be one of the kids most favorite Christmas memories :)

and Kassidy's room looks amazing... when its clean.

btw, have you ever seen such a huge-normous fake Christmas tree in your whole entire life?!!

me neither.

If you scroll back up to the top and take a look at the first picture again, I'd like to point out the horse that lucy is holding, it was a Christmas present from her sweet sister Natalie. Natalie is my crafty kid. She made that out of socks. (seven to be exact) It's actually really cute.

... incase you wondered where all the matches to your socks are, consider that you too may be living with such a crafty child ;)

[dis-kuhm-bob-yuh-leyt]

2011-12-01T20:08:00.001-08:00

Somebody informed me that today is December first.

>..<

(blink blink)

sigh.

I'd like to express my general feeling on the matter as described below.

and this.

November? Helloo... hellooooo.

where did you go?

The key to life.

2011-11-26T21:33:00.001-08:00

Today is november 26th.

november.

it is november.

Take in a full account of our attire, then send us no flowers.

Today was gorgeous. I lived in the world today.

happily.

The children are happy.

The old man in the chair is happy.

happy us.

happy.

people i love filled with happy.

sunshine is happy.

purple sunglasses. longboard. hands up high. on a high.

happiness.

crashed.

This is what me and my family did today.

I love them.

Go into the world and BE HAPPY.

compare.contrast

2011-11-19T13:29:00.001-08:00

Man structure.

God structure.

I enjoy both.

"View from my Toilet"

2011-11-17T21:54:00.001-08:00

Should be the name of a book. yes?

not mine though.

I thought I would share with you my new working process, or in other words... the view from my toilet.

I recently found out that my working process needed some improvement. Before it was, shoot > make a contact sheet > choose what to print > make final print.

I really just didn't know any better.

But along the lines of not understanding the worth of my work I also have a really hard time knowing which photographs are worthy of printing. makes sense right?

This is where my critique class has been ever so helpful.

new process. shoot > make contact sheet > grab ANYTHING that sparks my interest, make a proof print > live with it > make a full size test print > final print.

The moment Jim uttered these word to me I knew it was just what I needed.

I think the key here is living with the images. In addition to living with them I will be rearranging them, looking at them in different ways, and paying attention to which images speak to which. And all this from my cozy little toilet room. I am certain a new spot is in order, but this is it for now.

I love this. Anything that slows the process down is a very good thing.

I feel perfectly content just making proof prints to live with for the rest of the semester. Shhh... don't tell Mr. W.

Just kidding, you can tell him. I've worked my tail off this semester and have plenty to show for it ;)

* this girl ain't worried about it *

A rare glimpse

2011-11-11T21:44:00.001-08:00

at my ugly handwriting. (you can thank me later)

...it's because I'm struggling with something.

I am sure I mentioned the critique class I am taking over at Art Intersection, yes? Well...

I found myself going into one of my almost unintelligible rambles last week as I expressed my frustration with finding value or importance in any of my images.

Sometimes (alot) I think, how could this possibly matter?

It seems an awkward position to be in. So much passion for something and yet a questioning of it's value.

My instructor, Jim, thankfully interrupted my ramblings, and asked me to do something.

He told me to write. Take your notebook here and just start writing, he said. Write down everything that comes to mind, anything at all pertaining to the need to photograph. write write write, don't stop. See what happens.

So I did.

Is it the final word? no.

It was 30 minutes of my brain putting forth effort.

Is it informative? Yes.

Things came out I didn't expect.

Will I write more? obviously.

I pulled this part out and gave it a little highlight because reading back through I paused on it, this thing which was pulled from within.

In that statement I find something real. Something I need.

:) jill

zombies i love + on a sugar high

2011-10-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'm really lucky.

Natty B. likes to play school. even dance school.

She teaches Lucy dances over a period of months and then she has a recital.

yesterday was the recital.

song: Monster Mash

location: trampoline

costume and makeup by Natty B.

girls, girls, girls...

just one more.

ok, in

3...

2...

1...

nice one.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

it counts.

2011-10-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

today me and lucy played a game.
it was called guess what animal I am

I'll start...
j: i start with b, i'm black, and i'm blind
l: A BAT!

ok you go...

l: I start with j
j: jackrabbit?
l: nope
j: giraffe (she's only 5)
l: noooooo (but smarter than i thought)
j: jack russel terrier?
l: ok its jrrr

completely. impossibly. stumped.

j: i dont know, what are you?
l: A JRAGON!

ah, mystery solved.

In a beautiful world.

2011-10-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

Looking out the window of our San Jose hotel room Monday morning, I found myself a titch disappointed. Oooooof course. It just had to get rainy on us.

I distinctly remember looking at the 5-day outlook and it had a big yellow sun on each and every day. Promises had been broken.

I know you know what rain does to my hair. It's frizz-diculous is what it is.

So I knew it was going to be an ugly day (me, not the city) I accepted the fate and drove myself and kassidy into San Fran for our last day.

If you've never driven into San Fran it is the most amazing sight. You come around the corner and suddenly there's hills and hills of beautiful buildings as far as the eye can see. It is gorgeous!

Over the city that day was lots of pretty fog. Why do I love fog? I do not know, maybe I don't get the pleasure often enough, but I find it really beautiful.

We really had no plan to speak of. What we did was, we saw tall buildings, exited the freeway at a random street, then drove aimlessly down it until we stopped at a random meter, in front of a door, connected to a building, of which we didn't know what was behind. But on the street next to our car happened to be a sandwich board advertising an art show they had on display.

I thought, hmm... I love art. How convenient. And that is how we began our last day adventure in San Francisco!

Now I want to tell you that even though it misted (not rained, misted) on us the WHOLE bloody time, and my feet sloshed in my shoes with every footstep, and my hair was a frizzy mess, and I was wearing a jacket over a hoodie over a sweater, over another sweater over my t-shirt... the moment I stepped outside my vehicle I knew we got lucky. Ohhh so lucky.

Lucky for the fog.

Lucky for the rich beautiful saturated colors.

Lucky for the people walking by with their umbrellas.

Lucky for the lights reflecting off the street.

It was going to be a great day.

I cheater posted these color film shots on facebook, but the photo below, the one with Kassidy in it, I saved just for you, my favorite blog reader :)

Some favorite moments:

Golden Boy Pizza. Away from the mega hustle and bustle, sitting at the wall covered in stickers and graffiti with my girl Kass, letting my feet dry, waiting for my pesto vegetarian pizza. totally cheap. totally yum.

Paying for parking just to find a bathroom. I had to go so bad, every store we went into pointed us out the door. When we finally did find one we also found a photo booth. *worth all 500 pennies*

eating a coconut macaroon dipped in chocolate made by the guy who dropped my change 3 times because... ahem.... I made him nervous. (?) No idea, but I'm thinking it was the big hair.

Getting lost. like really lost, and laughing at ourselves when we ended up back in chinatown whilst trying to locate our car. (We were at Chinatown earlier in the day, and we thought we were in a completely different area, but apparently in all our circling/driving the wrong way down one way streets, ended up parking one block from it.)

Have you ever been lost?

After I tell you this you're going to want to go out and buy an ipad. It saved our lives.

We drove round and round trying to find a place to park. We were somewhere in the middle of all the really tall buildings, thats what I knew. I finally found a spot on the street at a parking meter, just like I wanted. Then we started walking, aimlessly. we turned about 2 or 3 corners and I thought oh no! What street did we park on?? Kassidy didn't know either. So we noted the current location, figured it was pretty close right? Corner of blank and blank. Yeah... because we forgot that about two shakes later.

We're a sad case.

One lucky thing. I remembered when we parked, as soon as I got out I started looking around for something interesting to photograph. There was a bridge that went over the street. I only noticed it because people were walking across it with their umbrellas. And I also knew I took a photograph on California st. (see above) so I zoomed in really close to that area and found the bridge that crossed over the street! I dropped a pin and hit directions. led us straight there.

Did I mention I drove the wrong way down a one way street?

We may not be welcome back.

I <3 you SF.

I coming back.

The all new ART paper by Ilford

2011-10-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and the first thing that went through my head was I gotta do a blog post on the new Ilford Art 300 paper.

Not that I am in anyway qualified to do a real live review on any product, but it's something I bought, used, and have opinions about. Maybe someone out there is on the fence about buying it since it's description is, well, confusing to say the least. They throw out words like matt and eggshell in the same sentence. huh? exactly.

Lets start with the extreme buoyancy of this product. This stuff floats. Like if you wash in a vertical washer it sticks up a good inch out of the water. Its not really a problem, I just wasn't expecting it. I mean it is a problem, in that you need to find a way for it to stay under, but it's not that difficult to solve. I just laid some plexiglass pieces over the tops to hold them down.

I printed 3 of my images on this paper. I scanned them to give you a bit of a visual but again its not really fair because its a scan... and scans are crappy, but then also the paper has this texture which makes it look quite grainy in the scan, when in fact it is not at all a grainy image. You can see that I included the whole of the image, all the way to the edge of the paper, and it is indeed textured.

These are they...

I love the way these printed up. This paper does a really beautiful job with the blacks and contrast. I mean really beautiful. The tones are perfect. In the description it says, it has a cool base colour and warm image tone. I wasn't sure what that meant. The example photo on the box looks really warm. Kind of a rich brown, I don't find that to be the case in real life. I can see that its not a cool black, but its not brown either. its a warm black and thats really the only way to put it. But definitely black.

The thing that throws me off about this paper is the texture. If you look at the print straight on the texture is really noticeable. And ~~sometimes~~ usually I don't really like all that texture. It seems to give it this furry look. Really hard to put in words. But then if you take the print and tilt it, and look at it from an angle, even a slight angle, it transforms into shimmery wonderfulness. Honestly, any furriness it had disappears completely and you are left looking at a gorgeous print, almost as if the light picks up the little slivers of silver. It's really something to see! That particular quality about it excites me. But the texture not so much.

it is also very heavy/thick, which is nice.

So is it worth the $1.42 per sheet, plus shipping and/or tax?

I say yes.

I won't print all, or even most of my images on this paper, but I think certain images will look really beautiful on it.

And if you're a darkroom printer I think its definitely worth a shot. I mean, you just HAVE to see the gorgeous silvery shimmer. It's like nothing I've ever seen, not that I've seen much of anything really.

For reference, the paper I usually print with is Adox premium fiber based paper. Which I do quite love.

If I have any film shooter, darkroom printer, blog readers out there, I'd LOVE to hear back from you how you feel about this paper.

My local camera store doesn't carry it. I ordered it online from Freestyle Photo. I use them quite a bit, they are really great, I get all my paper from them and a good lot of my film.

Also... lots of exciting things happening in my little world of photography that I will talk about more later, but I just started a critique class over at Art Intersection with Carol Panero-Smith and Jim Hajicek. AND... I also just signed up for wet plate collodion workshop with France Scully Osterman!

yeah yeah, more later :) !!!!!!!!!

(I can hardly wait)

saved (for later)

2011-10-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

that's disgusting.

I've been soaking in the charms of

San Francisco.

Never in my entire life have I seen anything like it.

I'm in love.

I have to go back.

note to self : bring floss 'ems

See how she looks at him. Looove that.

2011-10-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

While looking through folder after folder of old photos in search of something particular...

I found a photograph of my mom and dad that made me smile from ear to ear.

I'm the middle child.

I don't particularly look like either of my parents.

People usually settle on me being a "good mix" of the two...

but just this one time I see a little bit of myself in my mom <3 !!

I've seen this picture before. Looking at it always makes me wonder...

What is the dealio with the matching outfits?!

hehe.

MOM: if you're out there, please explain.

Love your guys's guts.

jill

{Disclaimer: now that I've come out and said I don't look particularly like either parent, I am quite positive I will get all kinds of you look just like your ......... !!!!! Don't believe it. All my life I've been the mix. }

WANTED

2011-09-25T00:17:00.000-07:00

opinions!!

for all those who care to dish it.

one is film. one is digital.

I was going to make you guess which one is which but since to me it's so obvious which is which (its really not fair to the film image, scans of images are so horrid) I will just tell you...

the top one is digital and the bottom one is film.

There just something different about film, they say. I can't put my finger on it. its just different. analog.
(if you ever wanted to see a side-by-side of film vs. digital you're in luck... I got one right here :))

furthermore if you ever wondered what a crop sensor is doing to your photos this is a prime example. Both images shot with a 50mm lens (or the equivalent... don't make me go into the specifics of shooting medium format) my digital is a crop sensor. Both images taken from the exact same spot. Look at all the real estate you're missing out on!

The question is... which do you prefer and why?

I feel like the scanner did an exceptionally terrible job of scanning this one in. Wooo doggies.

I can assure you with certainty the actual print does not have a blown out dress.

You don't have to be a photography expert to have an opinion. I welcome all opinions :) !!

Chad and I have differing opinions on this one. And incase you wonder why I have one on digital and one on film, my film camera is a Pentax 6x7 and I don't trust the light meter one iota. And since I don't want to put out the money for a hand held light meter I use the digi to proof the shot.

This photograph very much belongs with the sunrise collection from the previous post.

Talk to me people!!!

how I make my case for sunrise vs. sunset

2011-09-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

I rest my case.

If you've never ventured out into the breaking morning light I strongly urge you to try it.

It's the prettiest light of the day.

<3 jill

It runs in the family

2011-09-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

This is like sooooo mommy blogger of me but...

I DON'T CARE

because I am a mommy that bloggers.

Used to be (the good old days) I would click on my gmail link up in my bookmarks bar and my email would pop right up.

Not so much now. I click my link and what I usually get is Kassidy's email popping up. Which is annoying because you know, logging out and all that good stuff. Oh and by the by... I can't help but notice that kid's password is like 45 dots long? an essay password, innovative.

A few days ago I popped her email up on accident and before my eyes was this beautiful email she had sent to one of her friends.

It was so sweet. You see her friend got a bird a few weeks back and out of no where the bird keeled over dead. She is very sensitive about animals (hence we don't talk about how G-pa ran over 3 cows last week on his way home from the farm) so to make her friend feel better she made this drawing of 'Sunny' for her.

I was looking at it and was just taken by the artistry of it. I love the gesture of the wings. And look at that face! That is a happy peaceful face.

such feeling in the work of a 13 year old.

and I just marveled at how she did this using a mouse.

I am such a clutz using the mouse. or a pencil. Just ask my photography teacher. We used to have to draw what we photo'd to record how we printed it and... well... my drawings were laughable.

yes. out loud laughable.

see below.

It's a darn good thing I don't have a friend with a bird.

and then poor Lucy was so bored today. I could hear her whining and boobing from across the house.

Kassidy left her art site up and Lucy decided to take a whack at it. (found this up after dinner)

Her picture cracks me up.

I guess her sweet little feelings and worry show in her artwork! Poor baby.

That kitty just seems so dejected. But again, a 5 year old did that with a mouse? is it because I'm left handed that I can't properly control the mouse? No, because give me a pencil and bam. Still rotten.

But then earlier today (oh were jumping all over the place here) when we were happier, Chad let her draw in his sketch book and she was so pleased to get to do so.

She drew this portrait of Natalie...

Honest to goodness when I look at that I am in awe of how my 5 year old drew her facial features. We're cooking up some artists over here.

I should tell you the one on the right is Natalie. I'm not positive who the one on the left is but if I had to guess by looking I would have to say either Bob Marley or ME.

I bet it's me.

Don't you feel sorry for me? I had an ugly day and someone recorded it.

fantastic.

Someone carved Jesus's portrait in the sand. Coincidence?

2011-09-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you embarked on an epic slot canyon hiking adventure?

What?

Never?!?!?!!!

How can this be?

Today I am going to talk about the quirks, exhilaration, sheer majesty, and terror that the slot canyon hike envokes in your life as well as how it ties in with what I like to call

The Howard Stern Effect

So I'm going to admit right now that I haven't listened to Howard Stern in over ten years BUT that doesn't matter. The effect is the same. You see back in the day (were talking on before sirius) every so often they would have a commercial promoting The Howard Stern Show... which was ridiculous because I was obviously already listening to it! But anyway the commercial went something like this...

( no quoting me, this is OLD memory were tapping into here)

Why do so many people that love Howard Stern listen to the show? They want to hear what he's going to say next. Why do so many people that hate Howard Stern listen to the show? They want to hear what he's going to say next.

basically what I think were trying to say is that love it or hate it you get sucked in by wanting to know what he's going to say next!!!

I have found ways to apply this same theory to many things. haha. Yep. And you're about to find out how it applies to slot canyon hikes!

ok so for those that don't know exactly what a slot canyon is (thank you wikipedia) A slot canyon is a narrow canyon, formed by the wear of water rushing through rock. A slot canyon is significantly deeper than it is wide. Some slot canyons can measure less than one metre (3 ft) across at the top but drop more than 30 m (100 ft) to the floor of the canyon.

or

a narrow canyon carved into sandstone or slick rock by centuries of rain and flash flooding. Slot canyons are often filled or partially filled with water and can be extremely dangerous to navigate through.

words or phrases to hone in on *flash flooding *extremely dangerous ;)

Ok so as per our great love of slot canyon hiking goes, we took off in the ski boat toward the end of Mountain Sheep Canyon. Generally speaking jet skis are the preferred method to get to the end of the canyon but we didn't have those this time so we made do. We took the shark with us.

Shark: long skinny towable device with a menacing grin that can be the cause of many laughs as well as many tears. Seats 6 uncomfortably, seats 3-4 much more comfortably, but you could still die.

I chose this especially non-spectacular image to showcase the menacing grin on the shark face.

Ok now don't be mad. I didn't take my camera. I pined and whined over this but having been on many slot canyon adventures in the past I knew the likely fate of the camera if it were to accompany us so no photos. so sorry.

We had gone as far as we could in the boat. the canyon was just too narrow and it was time to jump on the shark. With skis as paddles (hey, we make do remember!) we shoved our way down the windy canyon. Heres the trouble we ran into right off the bat. tight turns. You see when a 10 foot long floaty tries to maneuver the tight turns it gets stuck. this is because it is not bendy. We heave ho'd our way through 2 of them but eventually we had to jump in and and get the dreaded wet (wont be the last time)

ok so this is where the Howard Stern Effect starts coming into play.

We're looking at this cold water and its full of all kinds of debris. like who bloody even knows what. dead rats? maybe. mostly sticks and bugs but as you trudge forward unseen things wrap around your legs and your shorts fill up with the debris which can be quite uncomfortable. Striders (far to similar to spiders) flit across the top of the water. Plus am I the only one that thinks murky cold water filled with debris is a bit eerie? No worries we were only chest deep. (sarcasm)

And so why do we do it? We want to see whats around the corner of course!! and there's ALWAYS another corner to want to see around.

This canyon was gorgeous though. So worth it.

The fun part about these hikes are the many challenges you come to, at each one you ask yourself if you're gonna man up and get through it.

These usually include (but not limited to) super slimy mud holes followed by a tall smooth wall you may have to wedge your body up to get over, sinking mud, lots of bugs, frogs, sometimes mice, lakes of chocolate milk thats been in the cold part of the fridge, and the ominous choke stones- gigantic rocks that are wedged between the canyon walls making either a huge drop off or an almost impassible wall before you... depending on if your going up or down ;)

One of our biggest challenges was that we had little Lucy with us. She can be a bit slow but she trudged though with the rest of us not complaining just enjoying.

So in the beginning of the hike I made the humongous mistake of striking up a conversation about flash floods. As I glanced up the endlessly tall canyon walls to blue skies speckled with a puffy white cloud here and there, I said to my dad...

so no way is there a chance of flash flooding today right? the sky is so blue and mostly clear.

Well actually, he says... (oh no, please no) it is possible to get caught in a flash flood with blue skies... this is because the storm that feeds the flood can be miles away.

Now heres the thing, several years back a couple from Germany were killed hiking through Antelope canyon when a flash flood unexpectedly hit. They were with an experienced guide. Could this be why it was on my mind? possibly.

We unfortunately continued to discuss the particulars of why you WILL DIE if caught in a canyon during a flash flood. Basically it is a huge wall of water mixed with all kinds of things it has picked up on its way to meet you like, trees, sticks, animals, cars... well maybe not cars, who knows though. all kinds of debris rushing a high speeds towards your head and where do you have to go? There is no escape. That is all. You die.

I heard my dad say from behind me... we have reached our suggested turn around time.

Thats great, but we NEED to see whats around the bend.

So on we went, and then again I hear him say, we're 11 minutes past out suggested turn around time.

At that point what stood before us was a section of deep cold murky water with a gigantic choke stone at the end. I wondered if we could even get the little ones over that one. We sent Chad and Ben to scout it out and see how difficult it would be. Chad had a really hard time getting over that one and Ben, well sadly he didn't couldn't quite get up. I took this as a sign that we were at the end of this particular adventure.

But I was wrong.

oh yes. so so wrong.

I voted to turn back. People listen to me... or maybe it was their gut. but we started heading back.

I kid you not, the moment we turned our bodies around we heard a faint thunder off in the distance, (and then some swear to a rush of water) not me though I only heard the thunder, and it was enough. I went into a kind of panicky state. To tell you the truth I was shaking quite a bit. I had my two babies in the canyon and I was picturing my mom (whom we left on the houseboat with Kassidy) finding out a huge chunk of her family died at once and then going kind of crazy and turning into a hoarder... I know, the hoarding thing. haha. It scares me though. The hoarding does.

The thunder continued to roll.

We were moving fast. What was before careful calculated steps, so as not to twist ankles or rip off toe nails, were now quick and un-calculated steps. Jumping into the freezing section of what looked like the river of chocolate in 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', was no longer a hesitation. After a few minutes I asked everyone if we could stop for just a minute and say a prayer. My dad offered it. It was this sort of serene moment of peace and trust in the lord.

I don't think I talk about Chad nearly enough on my blog. The dude is like my personal hero. Just an amazing gentle man of greatness willing to do any and all for those he loves. He doesn't complain he just works it out. He picked Lucy up and carried her the whole way back. In our half running state, this was not an easy task I am sure. Oh how I love that man.

The sight of the shark was like Christmas morning when I was 9!

It was still wedged in the crack right were we abandoned it. We swam out to it but this time instead of getting on it, the boys shoved it out sans humans. And even though we treaded water for what seemed like forever, this was the faster way to go about it. Well actually we did originally put Lucy on it but in all the hustle and bustle she got flung off... didn't cry or anything. She's such a good doobie.

I took a picture of the Sky when we got back to the boat.

not so clear blue anymore eh?!

I wish I could show you this one extremely beautiful spot. Oh how I wish I could have brought my camera. Around one bend we came to a natural spring seeping form the slick sandstone rock about 20 feet above our heads. Right where the water started there was this gorgeous greenery clinging to wall. it was so beautiful, I took a picture with my eyes, not that that does you any good. Not like I have the right lens to capture that kind of grander anyway.

You should go check it out for yourself. Mountain sheep Canyon at Lake Powell. Take a picture for me!

p.s.- due to the fact that it is 1:55 am, I would rather die in a flash flood than proof read this right now. soRry fur teh typos.

PSA

2011-09-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

This is a public service announcement to let you know

that my kid

(the one with the big mouth) has a gigantic mouth hole.

and she's not afraid to use it.

also, it should be noted that these adorable children look as if they are riding a most thrilling roller-coaster, when in fact they are merely sliding down a typical run-of-the-mill playground slide...

because children are magical like that :)

If you must know, it was the middle finger.

2011-09-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting here finishing up (wasting time, really) all the little things I had intended to do when I first plopped into the chair in front of the computer.

All at once it seemed really lonely. Everyone has gone to bed except me.

and my tummy is growling.

Sometimes I am super awesome and make my family a really delectable feast.

Not today though. Today I didn't make dinner at all.

I went into the kitchen to search for something to fix this problem and all I could agree on was a boxed mix of blueberry muffins... thank you Betty Crocker.

but then my dramatic side kicked in and I fretted about it being midnight by the time they were done. And how I just DID NOT want to stare at the kitchen timer until midnight. Plus I would probably be dead by then anyway.

on second look it was only 11:19pm, and the box said '17-21 min.' which if I calculate correctly (sucked at math) means it will be done sometime BEFORE midnight.

So whist I waited, I decided to hop on my blog and tell you about how I've been meaning to tell you all about one particular adventure at Lake Powell... The one with the Howard Stern effect.

Do you know what the Howard Stern effect is?

That's ok if you don't. I will surely tell you all about it in my next post.

ahh the magical beeping from the kitchen!

The muffins are done and it turns out my calculation WAS correct! It is 11:49pm which is sometime before midnight. It's possible I forgot to calculate cooling times (not on box!) so it turns out I will be eating at midnight after all.

I think its really crappy of me to not make anyone dinner and then wait until they are all slumbering in their bed to whip out my super gourmet box of Betty Crocker muffin mix. The nice thing to do would be to save them some for breakfast and all... But I'm not making any promises this late at night.

and I feel bad that you read all the way through this semi-pointless blog post, so I have decided to reward you with a wipe-out shot of cousin Ben at Lake Powell.

Lookie at that! Two photos. It's your lucky day.

So what do you think?

not that great?

Yeah well, I burned my finger putting the muffins in the oven so I will blame it on that.

nighty night.

on the very last night.

2011-08-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

It was so so hot.

Like drowning in sweat hot, but considering the spider situation I forced the sheet to swaddle itself around my body and occasionally over my head.

and as long as no one so much as touched me in the slightest I was ok.

and besides, the winds were fairly strong.

There was a storm coming.

Not that it mattered, it stormed to some degree every night we were there. Lake Powell.

The next thing we heard after slipping into sweet slumber was the voice of my mother following a loud crack of thunder.

'are you awake now' she said. I can only assume she was standing there trying to wake us minutes before. She was worried about us. We sleep on the top deck of the boat. It's cooler up there and who doesn't like falling asleep under the milky way?!

We had a lightning storm move in right on top of us. It was close. Chad grabbed Lu, and I picked up the bedding and headed down stairs. I went back up to get Kassidy. She was just lying there. I told her she needed to get up and move downstairs.

She argued with me. Can you believe it?

And then the biggest bolt of lightning I ever seen/heard/felt cracked through the sky and suddenly as if by magic she seemed to know what I was talking about. (She claims she was still asleep while I was talking to her, pshhhhah)

Once we were all downstairs safe and sound (well... as safe as you can feel sitting in a metal boat in a pool of water) I pulled out my camera. Chad hung around with me.

The great thing is, I didn't even see this bolt.

I hit the shutter, the sky lit up, hair stood on edge, and me and Chad busted through the screen door as fast as we could. In that exact order.

Funny how we thought we could out run lightning. ha! we're so rad.

Did I mention our rad-ness?

You wanna see something almost as nifty?

Have you ever seen a nose wrinkle up like that? haha!

It looks like a lion's nose.

grawr!

baby.

2011-08-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

WARNING!

You're going to want to keep her.

because...

she.

is.

that.

sweet.

and soft.

and new.

and cuddly.

and happy.

and loved.

with tiny toes.

and perfect lips.

baby dreams.

baby things.

hair so soft.

quiet moments.

little charms.

We call her Gigi.

{ Giana Lanae Grossi }

She is the newest member of our family and we LOVE the dickens out of her.

Congratulation Chanelle and Greg!!

finally ;)

love you guys!

truly.

2011-08-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

I took a personality test last week.

Have you ever known something you're whole life, but then someone tells you and its like a whole new discovery? Me to.

I'm an introvert.

So THAT'S why I hate parties so much! right right. makes sense.

Also, you know that weird girl that that won't eat just anything. Annoying isn't she?

That's me.

Those that know me well know that I will not eat ground beef, cows milk, or fast food. And those that know me REAL well know I also won't eat shellfish, cheapo chocolate, margarine or things that say 'light' on it. And then there's a whole nother list of things that bother me greatly and its only a matter of time before I nix. Artificial sweeteners and colors are extremely high on that list!!

All I'm sayin is I'm not the cheapest date in town ;)

But this summer I kicked something else out of my diet and actually out of my whole families diet. I don't usually push my weirdness on my family but after reading about High Fructose Cornsyrup I decided it was time for it to get the boot.

Imagine taking your 5 year old to the store to buy popsicles and then you get to stand there watching her cry for 10 minutes because we can't buy the Popsicle brand popsicles and for what ever reason the Dole pops aren't going to cut it.

Me again!!

Haha. I have to say though that I have no regrets ousting that one. And actually Lucy and Natalie have both been very good at reading labels to see if there is High Fructose Cornsyrup in stuff I buy. I've thrown out whole loaves of bread because I forgot to check for it! The thing we learned is that you really don't have to go without, there is always some brand that doesn't use it, with the exception of snow cones (one of my kids favorites)

But the hardest thing for the majority of my family was the soda! Chad got a little huffy with me on this one because (and he's right to some extent) I already don't drink soda so for me it wasn't giving anything up. I forgot to add soda to the list above. haha. I will occasionally drink rootbeer but on the whole I probably drink less soda in a year than most do in a week, possibly a day depending on the individual.

About a month after getting rid of HFC I took my kids to Miami/Globe, AZ to photograph them and it was hot. I mean really really hot. They were eyeing the public pool big time hot!! So I took them to a convenience mart and let them get any frozen treat they wanted. I didn't restrict anything. It was painful but I watched Lucy pick out a giant rainbow popsicle... 100% HFC! And let me just tell you how my little angel turned into a gigantic monster from the deep! It was then that I decided no matter how good they were being the restriction must always apply! There was one other time after this that couldn't be helped and again angels turned to monsters. noticeable behavior change!

and why am I telling you all this again? oh yeah, I was going to share with you the magical wonders of making your own almond milk at home!

(Don't tell my kids but the plan is to slowly ween them off cow milk and get them on something much more nutritious and natural)

So here's what you need:

1 cup of raw almonds
4 cups of water

If you want to add sweetener you can. I use agave to sweeten. just a tablespoon or 2 depending on how sweet you want it. A little cinnamon or vanilla won't hurt it either!

Soak the almonds in filtered water over night in the refrigerator.

I drain this water and add 4 cups of fresh water, I haven't decided if I prefer draining the water or using the soak water so I drain it for now.

Pour in high powered blender ( I use a vitamix)

Strain through a nut milk bag. I've used cheesecloth before but it leaves too much grain for me so I prefer the nut milk bag which you can make yourself if you sew. I made mine out of a loosely woven fabric I found in one of my many drawers of fabric.

Here we are, we've just poured our blended mixture into the nut milk bag lining a glass bowl.

And now we just grab the string and cinch it up lifting it up so the milk can drain.

We let it continue to seep till it slowed down then we started twisting the bag putting a squeeze on it to get ALL the milk out.

Fresh raw almond milk!

For now I am sweetening my milk so I can get my kids to drink it and hopefully I can slowly back off the sweetness without them noticing. Thats my plan anyway.

If you're interested in macadamia nut milk check THIS out! I tried this, it was delicious. loved the addition of coconut oil!

I take some flack in my family for my somewhat particular views on food. When I say family I mean my mom, dad, sisters and their husbands. Like last month while talking to my dad he told me they think I am snobby when it comes to food. ha! Can we just replace the word snobby with choosy? or careful? or enlightened? or smart? caring? genius? Come on! nutrition isn't a gimmick!

I didn't get an A in most of my classes in culinary school but guess which one I did ace?!

NUTRITION!

I've always been interested in nutrition. And I guess you could say I don't like to live in the middle. When life is good I want it to be incredibly good and when its bad I allow myself to feel it so that when we get back to good it feels OH SO AMAZINGLY GOOD!

Just for fun you should go take the personality test and report back to me what your 4 letter code is.

Mine is ISFP (the I stands for introvert btw)

You can take the test HERE!

no more nothingness.

2011-07-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

It is today.

Film loaded.

Children in tow.

all by myself.

There is no looking back.

See you on the flip side.

We gots the feve for the Bieb

2011-07-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Good News! The Bieber-myster is coming out with a new scent.

haha!

Yesterday I took Natalie to the mall with me because sitting around the house for one more second was going to kill us.

We ran into Justin Bieber while we were there. (seriously not really) just in poster form, letting us know all about his upcoming new fragrance.

My girls all claim Justin Bieber means nothing to them. In fact, they kinda hate him. Which we all know is a big fat lie! Have you seen Bieber lately?

I told Natalie she kind of looks like him. She disagreed and acted insulted. But the more I looked at the Bieb, the more I thought I was right. They even both have a beauty mark on their left cheek.

Similar nose.

Similar lips.

see where I'm going with this??

Haha! This is hilarious.

So I requested she squat down next to him and let me get a photo of her face next to his...

She said no way.

*oh re-he-he-he-he-he-he-HEEEEEEEEEEEE-lly*

10 seconds later lookie what I got.

I am such a good mom.

She will thank me later ;) !!!!!!!!

A meager life's work

2011-07-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

On day 18 of a 20 day semester I found myself putting in twice the normal days work as I stayed quite late to learn how to tone prints. And as I stepped out of the classroom that day holding my two boxes overflowing with prints, my teacher said to me...

wow, that's like you're whole life's work you're holding there.

I supposed that was true in a way, and as I looked again at the overstuffed boxes, what seemed before to be an enormous amount of work, now seemed meager and deflated.

Though headway has been made, I was reminded that I am only at the very beginning of my journey. With all the discoveries yet to be made I think the beginning is an exciting place to be.

Someday perhaps two arms won't be enough to carry out the life's work of this girl.

Before I show you what I have been working on all of June let me first explain that this is from an ongoing project which is still taking form. Eventually it will include the wholeness of my family, but for now it is mostly consisting of my three little girls. I am in awe of the beauty that can be found within the sincerity of a young person. What they give you in terms of truth and depth is such an amazing gift. Especially so for the mother that has an all access pass to witness these things plainly and often, now to capture them is a treasure.

Again this is not the whole of my project but a small sampling of what was created within the small amount of time that was my summer school class.

note the sequentiality of the photographs as we begin in a public place, and move into more private spaces. The tracing of these moments being under normal circumstances unavailable to you as an outsider, now sit suspended here for indefinite amounts of time for your looking.

Now next time you go to photograph ask yourself this one question...

What does ____________ look like photographed?

and then answer the question with your experimentation.

within reach, if you're willing.

2011-06-29T18:02:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day of summer school. It's bitter-sweet, with a little bit of a lean toward the sweet.

I'm preparing for some much needed sharing on here!

Till then...

oh yes~ Take your children to see Mr. Popper's Penguins, it's great. I laughed and laughed. Abnormally loud in fact.

<3 jill

Lavish yourself in the season of yum-berries

2011-05-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

I just got home from Costco where I stocked up on fresh berries! There is no season greater than berry season.

Last Sunday I decided to embark on a crepe making adventure. I can't be sure why I have never desired to make crepes before but I have to think it must in some way be connected to a cruise I went on as a teenager where they served crepes... which were disgusting. So bad.

Stacey do you remember those? We went to the midnight party they were having? Ate a bite of crepe? Swore it off hence forth?!

Anyhoo mine were not disgusting.

They were heavenly :)

I think *not being an expert on crepes* that this is probably not the traditional way to serve crepes. This was more of a fresh berry crepe torte and I want to help you recreate it... if you so desire :)

I'm not going to put the crepe recipe on here because I think probably any crepe recipe will do. Mine was a little long and involved. If you don't have a recipe you like email me and I will be glad to send it. NOTE: remember the words long and involved before emailing. But good yes!

So you'll need to make my special Blueberry Blackberry sauce-a-lopogus. Based off of a Martha Stewart recipe I have. Anytime I have to make more than two changes to a recipe in order for it to be acceptable, I rename it and call it my own.

very simple. You will love it.

You will also want to make some Creme Fraiche. Pronounced { krehm FRESH }

ATTENTION: this needs to be started 24 hours in advance. (just thought I'd give you the heads upon that so you don't get half way through and realize you should have started yesterday) (believe me, I know how that goes!!!!)

(just now noticing my font is making the #1 look semi like the #2. please note : it is 1 cup to 2 tbsp. thx!)

P.S.- they do sell Creme Fraiche at gourmet supermarkets such as A.J.'s Fine Foods. I have full confidence you can make it though considering the directions consist of letting it sit on your counter for a day :)

To the creme fraiche I want you to add 3tbsp. of powdered sugar and 1/2 a tsp. of vanilla. Whisk together.

Oh yes. You can add fresh sliced strawberries to the layers if you want. I mean I did it and it was not regrettable in the least. In fact opposite!

So as torts usually go...

Start with a crepe. Spread your Blueberry Blackberry Sauce-a-lopogus on it. Add another crepe. Spread with your sweetened creme fraiche. Continue layering in this manner till you're torte is about 10 crepes high. Finish with a crepe on top. Add fresh berries for garnish and drizzle with creme fraiche.

Then prepare to die...

of heavenly love.

Have you seen the movie "The Blob" ...it's real, and it's SCARY!

2011-05-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

I feel like the blob.

Lately I just kind of roll from one place to another. No real movement required.

So in an effort to remedy this situation, I packed up my Lu in her stroller this morning and went walking. Fastly. With small bouts of jogging involved.

I hated it.

I purposely left my ipod at home so my brain would be free to get its act together and come up with a genius idea. Really any idea would have sufficed. Do you know how hard it is to think when your 4 year old is blabbering on and on, asking you questions you can't begin to answer because honestly, you just don't know who lives in every single house in the neighborhood?!

yep. yep.

There was a few things my brain managed to muster up. 10 to be exact.

Jill's Top Ten

Reasons why walking/jogging stinks the big one, especially when the sun is out.

10. I am out of sunblock.

9. It is better to be flappy and white than wrinkled up like a prune melting on the sidewalk.

8. You know that gipped off feeling you get when you buy a bag of skittles and more than 58% of them are yellow and green? thats how walking/jogging makes me feel.

7. PAAAAAAAAIN!

6. Especially my ears.

5. When I jog I become too keenly aware of the junk in my trunk. (bad for self-esteem)

4. Also I have bad form.

3. and giant feet.

2. with really skinny ankles.

1. Which makes me look ridiculous in 'good' running/walking shoes

proof:

Told you so!

The lady at the shoe store told me how amazingly comfortable these shoes are. Here's the thing... clunky will never equal comfortable! Plus they look like man shoes. Dressing like a man ended for me in the 90's ok people! I can't go back! I won't do it!!!!

I swear I trip over my feet in these. It's embarrassing really. I should stick to walking after the sun goes down.

Anybody want to walk at night with me?

anybody???

Are those crickets I hear?

Stingy is as stingy does

2011-05-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

I finished up with my photography class just in time to sign up for the summer class!

I guess you could say I'm addicted :)

Actually I wasn't planning on taking the summer class. I mean really... do I want to be somewhere by 8:00 AM four days a week during summer? Heck no. I want to be lazy as the day is long (and you KNOW they're longer during summer)

The plan was to take 290 in fall with my current teacher Mr. Mulno, who has been so great by the way, but no. All plans came to a screeching swirl of confusion and disappointment as he announced that the summer class will be his last class at Chandler Gilbert Community College. He is off to teach the lucky students of University of San Diego.

So if you have been wanting to take a photography class at CGCC I suggest you get crackin on that! Like post haste.

Well anyway, yesterday we had our critique on our final projects. I have pretty consistently photographed my children throughout the semester. It really came as no surprise to anyone that I chose that as my final project. When I laid all the photographs out to see what I had, it was almost like I could separate them into two distinct projects. I had eighteen prints, I whittled it down to fourteen that would be shown.

and I am showing you five.

Because I am stingy.

Do you adore that doll house as much as I do? It didn't always belong to us. I saw it sitting outside my parent's neighbors house. I wondered if they were throwing it away. THEY WERE! The man who lived there explained that they were moving and they had a garage sale earlier that day, but couldn't bear to put it out and sell it for $5.00 *insert gasp here* in front of his wife's father who made it by hand for their children. Can you believe it?!?! Me either. When we drove up with a car full of little girls he asked if we would like it.

Uh... try LOVE it!

This is classic win win.

I got the dollhouse I was lusting after. He got to feel good about sending it off to a home filled with little girls.

I only wish I knew where they moved to. I would love to send them a print.

And those masks!! Natalie and her friends made them. They were having plays out on the lawn. She is my most crafty kid. I immediately fell in love. I couldn't help but use them in a photograph. The one of Lucy standing with a mask on, my teacher referred to as 'amazing'. it's true.

I have it in writing :)

For all you COCO LOCO{s}

2011-05-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am speaking to all you crazy locals of G-town.

There's something kind of wonderful happening in Gilbert and I want to tell you about it so you can join me in supporting it as much as possible!!!

Do you like ART?

me too. like ALOT. (especially photography)

do you like how I put that in parentheses as if you didn't know? me too. I'm hilarious.

There's this place I've been hearing about for months now.

It's called Art Intersection.

Honestly for all the hearing about this place I haven't paid it nearly enough attention. We all make stupid mistakes sometimes right? yes, yes I thought so. I think there was a part of me that thought it was this mythical place where artists go to dream. Yeah, because for as many times as I've driven through downtown Gilbert I have never actually seen this mythical place of beauty.

Rumor has it they have a wet darkroom there.

It took getting an email from my fall semester teacher, Mr. Williams to get me to actually look for it online.

Yep. It's there. Darkroom and all. I feel so sheepish. And guess where!!! It's right where my kids old dance studio used to be. And that would explain why I never saw it.

Art Intersection is more than just a little intriguing. Not only do they have a darkroom but they have classes! And not just for you but they have classes for kids too! not just photography classes lots of crafty little classes.

I hope Mr. Williams doesn't mind me grabbing a line from his email and sharing it with you...

"Carol Panaro-Smith at Art Intersection teaches workshops with her partner Jim Hajicek who used to be the 19th century guru at ASU. Maybe they offer something that would interest you."

uhhh ya think??!!!! Yeah, that is why I finally looked it up :)

oh and you're gonna laugh when you hear this...

Last month I entered some of my photographs in a little contest we were having at school to have work displayed at Art Intersection. (still didn't look it up)

Totally won. (still didn't look it up)

HAHA! seriously right? let me rephrase 'totally won' because that was worded mainly for effect.

Three of my photographs were chosen to humbly hang with some of my fellow students work in the show... 'Through the Viewfinder: Works by CGCC Students and Faculty' from May 18- June 30.

I considered posting the three chosen photographs but then what are the chances I can get you out there to see them in real life? Not good. Thats what I thought. So no, if you want to see you must come bring your human body parts including your pretty eye balls over to art intersection.

Don't worry, I am SURE I will remind you ;)

So just to recap these are the things you should do...

check out their website.
follow their blog.
like them on Facebook.
enjoy their tweets.
sign yourself up for some classes.
sign your kids up for some classes.
come see my pretty photographs in the show from May 18- June 30.

got all that?

Don't forget to tell all your friends and neighbors about it too. Who knew Gilbert was going to get all artsy on us? Let's keep this place around!!!!!

you're the best! thanks.

<3 Jill

overlook | looking over

2011-05-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

The semester is winding down. I was happy to have a break from the usual get up at 6 am, out the door by 7:30. Drop the kid off at grandma's house, smell like chemicals for the rest of the day routine.

I mean its fun but breaks are nice too.

Yesterday me and Lucy went with my class to the phoenix Art Museum. I was surprised she wanted to go with me so bad. Though I know it was partly because she wanted to see the 'blob' for herself... tell ya later. Still I couldn't resist such a sweet little girl begging to experience art!

We explored the dickens out of that place and then near the very end unexpectedly came upon what I like to call the hall of glorious light.

and so we played a little longer...

then I made a bad movie to share with you :)

and by bad I mean low res. - no skills.

Saturday I will be spending all day in the darkroom finishing up my final project.

Should be loads of fun.

show me your moves, I know you got em

2011-04-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

I was online shopping with lucy at Jcrew kids this morning trying to figure out what on earth that kid wants to wear.

Everyday she asks me where the clean clothes are. and everyday I say in your closet

which is about the time she collapses on the floor in a heap of whiney letting me know exactly how she feels about the clothes in there

NOT A SINGLE CUTE THING.

I swear. everybloodyday.

So I'm clicking around on some silly looking get-ups.

she hates them all.

and then we get to these...

What about these?

no. those are curtains.

well atleast we know she doesn't want to wear curtains :)

woot.

note: She actually does have two dresses she likes to wear. and she would happily wear those two dresses every day till she's too big for them, except that I occasionally hide them because I'm mean but more because I get sick of seeing her in the same outfit every day when I can assure you her closet is brimming with pretty things to choose from.

pastels + sugarcoated chickens

2011-04-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

or in other words

EASTER!

I'm such a dummy. I ran flat out of time on Easter this year. It was just so busy. Didn't get any candid shots of the kids enjoying their easter goods.

but I did get a couple stand over here and look pretty ones :)

They all sat their with their fierce looks for a minute and I was like uhhh whats wrong? It's Easter be happy! Oh yeah, and you're allowed to smile for these :)

haha they've gotten so used to me shooting for school projects that they forgot they can occasionally smile for the camera.

As soon as we got home from church they asked... did the easter bunny hide our eggs yet??

Not yet.

and then again before we went to grandma's house... Did the easter bunny come back yet?

nope, not yet.

And then when We got home from grandma's house... now? Will the easter bunny ever come back to hide our eggs??

*looks at fake watch on arm* I don't know it kinda late... go get ready for bed.

But then at 9:11 pm it finally happened for them! The easter bunny had come and it was a egg hunt by lantern light.

Do we have the best easter bunny or what?!

note: clearly our easter bunny is in cahoots with our tooth fairy, neither one seems to be very prompt.

6x7 times the fun

2011-04-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

I got myself a new weapon for self defense...

yeah I know... you can't tell from the photo how massive this baby is but believe me when I say this camera is taking you down like a ninja.

think about it for a second. The pentaprism says ASAHI on it.

Say it out loud... ASAHI

Did you picture a ninja when you heard it aloud? Yes, I thought so.

Maybe next time I will plant my mug behind it so you can see how humongous it is. The camera, not my mug :)

I've shot 2 rolls so far. I get 10 exposures per roll and the negatives are a thing of true beauty. big. like the camera.

I decided the first shot should be a really ugly photo of myself. It was a brilliant plan.

... till I saw the photo.

I was unprepared for the ugly I beheld. Ha. Not such a brilliant plan after all.

There are very few photos I bother to give a title to. This one I fondly refer to as 'Ugly Me'

I love hate it.

Hate it because I really do look like that sometimes. Love it because I really do look like that sometimes.

I was talking to my teacher about photographing ones self and he brought up an interesting point that I hadn't previously thought of. It was the notion that people have a perception of them self and a certain way they want to be presented. perhaps the problem I have photoing myself is that I see myself as 'me' too much and not just a subject to work with. And I know he's right because I feel very uncomfortable when I look at this photo of myself.

That is something I will surely struggle with forever. How can I not?

Would you like to see something a little prettier now?

yes, lets.

I love that face.

This next image came from my last assignment. I was using the nikon to meter for the Pentax. I don't quite trust the meter on the Pentax yet. I have this one on film as well :-)

This assignment was quite interesting. We chose a poem and tied our images to it. Perhaps I will share what came of it when I get it back.

Other things you should probably know...

Today I climbed my grapefruit tree. Got the ones off the top. YUM.

also, set the smoke alarm off. Which makes Lucys legs shake, like when she sees a big dog. Is she afraid of dogs? Well I am so that would make sense I guess.

nighty night.

Let's play

2011-04-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

you might be a photographer if...

ok begin.

You might be a photographer if you've ever stepped out mid shower to grab your camera...

k, now you go.

or if you'd rather you and a friend can reenact this mornings dialogue between me and Lu.

will be good times I tell ya.

(she/he who plays Lu must use a most pathetically tragic voice. She/he who plays me can use any voice but an Australian accent would be the preferred choice)

L: I need a drink of water, I feel like I might barf.

J: Are you going to be ok? Should I take you to the hospital?

L: I don't know. I've never had a paper cut before, I might have to get surgery or stitches.

J: I really don't think so. Would you like some toast?

L: I can't eat toast, thats the hand I eat with.

(sipping her water she uses all her fingers to grip except the one tragic finger, which of course sticks straight up.)

L: will this top of my finger fall off?

... insert defeated stares and blinks here ...

J: I'm quite positive it will.

:) see. good times, as promised.

Happiness isn't real unless shared

2011-03-08T10:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I see people walking alone, usually kind of homeless looking, definitely friendless looking...

I imagine myself walking beside them listening to their story.

and I think how annoying that might be for them and how lucky they are that I'm driving really fast past them not affording either one of us the opportunity.

but even still...

I want to hear it.

Life moves too fast. I just want to corner people into wasting time with me.

Nothing weird about that.

When the evening pulls the SUN down

2011-03-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

I hate it when the old fella at costco charms me into buying 4 pounds of jelly bellys. And how? Did you know Ronald Reagan used to keep a dish full of these on his desk his entire presidency.

Oh man I'm such a sucker for old people. Seriously I heart them.

but then the real trouble comes when I break that seal and make it my personal quest to come up with new and exciting jelly belly recipes. all. night. long.

I do alot of testing.

I hate jelly beans btw.

HATE!!

It's a strong word... and that would be why I chose it.

Later I will tell you my favorite flavor, which is tutti frutti so if your only here for the super rad jelly belly convo you may now be excused ;)

but if you want to talk about film, come on in, stay for a while :)

I'm always surprised when people ask me about film because...

A. They talk about it like I'm crazy for going near it,

and B. They think I'm making movies!! haha! You guys make me laugh.

remember 35mm film? you'd load it into your camera and click the shutter button until you reach the magical 24 or even more magical 36 then it would rewind and you would drop it off at costco and see it in a few days, or an hour if you're super spendy?!?!?

yes,yes. I thought so.

Hello... My name is Jill, I shoot film.

for now.

When you look at the above photo do you see that her arms are stretched out long and dainty as if mimicking the long delicate tree branches? And/or are you thinking it looks like a bad hallmark card? If you were in my class for critique you just might.

And I'm ok with that for arts sake. But for my purposes (me being the mother of that adorable child) I kinda love it.

I saw a couple of film shooters at WPPI last week. Something they both seemed to keep mentioning is how film slows you down. It's true. I can attest to this fact.

And that is one of the things they like about film is that it does make you stop and think a little more.

For me it's been good and bad. You have no idea how many shots I missed because I metered it for the ump-teenth time just to be sure sure I got it right before I click that shutter. Oh yeah, I totally pulled out the ump-teenth card. Because that is exactly what I do. For real. come shoot with me, you will see.

With digital you can shoot like 90 miles a minute, a little glance to the lcd screen on the back tells you if you're in the neighborhood of where you want to be and if the expression stinks, it's cool you got 20 more JUST like it... minor variances only. You can move quick like and the person standing before you doesn't end up looking at you like you're an idiot when your still standing there ten minutes later getting your exposure and or timing right, because you're not still standing there ten minutes later!!!! And with sky's the limit cards you never have to worry about whether or not what you just captured matters. And what matters when it comes to photography anyway?

That is something I ask myself every bloody day.

Today while I waited for my prints to wash, I expressed to my teacher the disappointment I feel about not really having direction in my work. (honestly this is a true source of frustration for me, wanting to have images that mean something but coming up short)

and then he said something that made alot of sense. This is not a quote... don't not, I repeat, do not insert air quotes here :)

He said that I will come to learn that the most interesting photographs aren't really about photography at all. It's a person that has an interest or love for something and they use photography as their story telling medium.

He said it better. Next time I will record it. haha. just kidding,, that'd be weird.

It was a DUH moment for sure. Not that I didn't know that already but sometimes I get so wrapped up in getting my assignment done I forget what I'm shooting for which ultimately is myself. What I love. What I see and dream. My own interpretation of what is.

occasionally it happens to be a thicket of tree branches dipping it's tendrils into the glassy drink below.

{ this is the first time I've told anyone that the tree is dipping into water. It's not super obvious just by looking, but without that little element this photo would just be a bunch of sticks }

The good thing about slowing down is the contemplation that goes on. I still get plenty of stinky shots and to tell the truth I don't usually love what I get on film so far. I feel frustrated, like alot. But that is ok. I like it. If theres one thing I've come to know, it's that working through frustration pays dividends!

I've been here before. It's a good place.

now pass me a tutti frutti jelly belly would ya. I do also like the peach ones.

RECIPE:

vanilla bean + berry blue + cinnamon + island punch = vomit.

definitely not a keeper.

We bring the sun...

2011-02-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been gone for ages. Like gone gone. A distinct disconnect from what is usual.

Have you noticed?

I spent some time at wppi in Las Vegas last week. A divine experience!

I had been planning on attending wppi since October. I was dying to hear from one of my favorite photographers Jesh De Rox and seeing as how his workshops are upwards of $2000 I knew this was my chance!

Probably my one and only chance.

I also got to finally meet in person some wonderful girls I have bonded with online. I met them through a workshop we all did in 2009. It was the best $350 I ever spent. I can't tell you how amazingly supportive this group of girls are! Forever blessed to have met them!!!

And maybe it's just that I've been lucky, but I have found the photography community to be of such a loving sort. Love people, love life, love creating, love capturing, are you getting the love vibe here?????

Love your photographer because I guarantee they love you. If they don't, maybe they just haven't realized that photography isn't their calling. All in good time.

I totally went off on a rambling rant. oh well atleast it was a love rant. My intention here was not to tell you all the goings on in Vegas but really just one.

the We Bring the Sun concert we went to at sunrise out in the las Vegas Desert.

I call this one | The One That Got Away

We saw Jesh speak Monday afternoon, and then we got to see him again at sunrise the next day, only this time he was singing to us :) Standing there in the gorgeous morning light, surrounded by beautiful earth, listening to Jesh was such a surreal experience.

more moments like these please :) !!!!!!

I couldn't be more in love with life right now.

I missed my family alot while I was gone. And maybe it was pure lack of sleep Tuesday but I was close to breaking down for all the missing.

I am almost ready to put up some images I've been working on at school. I will talk about some of the things that I found relevant at wppi that reinforce things I've learned through the practical use of film.

yes, film.

I'd like to give some linky love to some of the people that touched me most last week so you can discover them too if you so desire.

First the fab Carly Mitchell. She's always there for me when I need to gchat her up! A tender soul doing great things with her camera!

Roweena Timson, a darling girl with impeccable taste. She shoots both digital and film! Flew in all the way from Australia!

Kati Gross Spunky and full of life, she definitely kept us entertained!

Kristy Milton Beautiful as can be! We got to see each other briefly at brunch Monday morning. She thinks I should start a cooking blog... what do you think? haha someone should tell her I do post some of my recipes on this here blog ;) !!

Jesh De Rox, someone that inspires me greatly. You can see some of his work here, or if you click here you can listen to him singing a duet with Amy Seeley.

Jose Villa, immediately fell in love with his work. He shoots wedding on color film. I am dying to shoot color. I hung onto his every word. What I wouldn't give to have won the workshop he gave away at his seminar! I did win 9 rolls of film though :) not too shabby!

And I can't not mention Jane Kovash! She doesn't have a website to link up to but I had fun chatting and getting to know her better! Plus she won $750 worth of web design from Jose Villa so go Jane!

ah, and now I'm off to Sunday dinner with the fam!

<3 Jill

neither can be bought nor sold.

2011-02-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

Please tell me if you can relate to this at all!

you're walking through goodwill. You see possibly the ugliest chair on earth. It is smothered with doggie hairs and the the handles have clearly been gnawed on for years. Not to mention it's just ugly.

You think to yourself... That dog probably died in this chair. I bet thats why someone got rid of it. I mean besides the obvious ugly factor.

But then you buy it.

Thats what happened to me.

I bought the ugliest chair on earth.

and oh how I wish I had taken a photo before I tore it apart. but I didn't.

this chair has been siting bare bones on my back patio for close to a year. or more than a year. I can't really remember.

I'd like to mention that I also failed to get a photo of it's bare boned-ness.

What you're about to lay eyes on is a chair that has been heavily worked on, though is in no way completed.

...

We worked on this till about midnight last night. I LOVE that Chad helps out. Ok he probably does most of the hard labor but we agreed long ago that we need each other for just about every project that goes down over here.

I usually have a pretty clear vision of what it should look like in the end. Chad puts it all together and makes it work. Sometimes I have to explain it to him like 1000 x's and draw a picture, which if you know me very well you know my drawings are barely decipherable. But he somehow gets it :) !!

details, details!

I wanted it to look homespun to some degree, that is why I hand stitched the corners. Also... I have no clue what I'm doing.

The original fabric was wrapped all the way around the bottom of the chair on every side. This being our first attempt at actually reupholstering ( please note: this ain't the first chair I've un-upholstered ;) we decided we should put it back the way it originally was.

butbutbut... I like the wood! Why can't the wood show?

It has staples in it.

I know, I like the staples.

it doesn't meet up nicely with the legs.

I see that and I am very accepting of it.

* best exec. decision ever made on this chair! *

and you know that black stuff under all your chairs and ottomans that your kids rip halfway off so it hangs and looks super dumb?

Do your kids do that?

Mine do. I hate it.

I wondered why it must be black. Wouldn't it be fun if it were surprisingly pretty underneath?

indeed it would.

This is what's going on the bottom. I know it doesn't match. it's not supposed to. Its a splash of unexpected gorgeous that you only get to see if you're lucky.

I know, Quirky huh.

Chad surprised me by admitting he LOVES what I chose for the bottom. Never thought this day would come. All this time I thought he hated fabric, which for a fabric addict like me it came as a huge blow. Turns out no, he just hates fabric stores :) !!!

And what chair would be complete without a pretty pillow to grace it. I have to tell you I am just in love with Anna Maria Horner's 'innocent crush' line. it is so so pretty and it comes in so many fabric types. Home dec, quilting weight, voile, and velveteen!

I opted for the velveteen!

once again Chad LOVED it. I swear it's like I don't even know who he is anymore... but I do so giddily approve!

one problem though...

my chair has no back. I'm not gonna lie. I'm stumped as to what to do.

I need help!

Who can help me?

I have a couple ideas I'm throwing around but I am not for certain what will work best.

We are currently accepting help from anyone who may be willing.

Pretty please :) !!

You don't want to see this baby head toward the dump any more than I do.

Was this blog just a long elaborate plea for help?

Why yes, yes it was :)

<3 Jill

Where I like to be

2011-01-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

It's no secret, my kids dress themselves.

Sunday is no exception.

I can't deny I was a little surprised upon exiting the vehicle when I discovered lucy's Sunday shoe of choice...

oh yeah. We wear combats boots to church AAAAAALLLLLLLLLL the time. haha! Sometimes I think Chad gets bugged at how little I care what my kids wear. He tells me like it's a travesty and I just kinda shrug and move on with life.

It's really of no consequence.

But I should have known then that lucy was in firecracker mode.

chitter-chatter, snicker sniff laugh... getting louder and louder and LOUDER.

Finally about half way through I leaned over to Lu and first gave her the look... followed by a little hey, you can play as long as you don't make noise. You think you can do that?

to which she responded by leaning forward, pulling her arms back in tight fists, closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose up then squeezed out a smelly little blast of gas which echoed off those dang metal chairs we were cursed to sit on for an hour.

Uh gee thanks.

haha. Not gonna lie. We probably laughed for a good five minutes after that. Not super reverent if you ask me.

What's not to love????...

I rest my case.

p.s.- it's my sister's birthday. Happy birthday Lolo!!!! love you :) !!!

If I call it cane sugar you will think I'm fancy no?

2011-01-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

Occasionally I'm just doing my thing and I accidentally invent something supremely fantastic.

And since I'm deeply devoted to you all, I share all my secrets before I even think about getting a patent on it.

haha just kidding. I don't think you patent recipes. You just don't always share ;)

Unless of course you're me, then you do. Giddy up!

Not sure where that came from. ha!

Now I'm not sayin this doesn't exist in some form out there, all I'm saying is, as far as I know it came out of my brain as of Sunday night and I personally have never experienced it in any way before... but I live in a dark closet.

That was my disclaimer incase you're all about to tell me that I did not in fact actually invent this. Fair? ok.

Behold...

Shall we talk a little about where on earth you might find a used half of a vanilla bean?

Sure.

Look in your sugar canister.

What? There's not one in there?! Thats weird. There should be!

Sometimes things are so deeply ingrained in me I forget you don't know the possibilities unless you and I are standing face to face with only a canister of sugar wielding a used vanilla bean between us.

Did you picture that? I totally did. haha!

*GOOD IDEA* (write this one down)

when ever you use a vanilla bean, toss the used pod into your sugar canister. It will turn your plain old sugar into super tasty magical vanilla sugar.

You will find a used vanilla bean in my sugar canister at any given time.

But if you don't have a used one, don't fret, you may use a new one as well with acceptable results. Just take your vanilla bean and split it down the middle lengthwise. Open the pod and scrape the innards out with the back of a spoon, or if you're a grossioso then just use your filthy fingernail. But clean it out with a potato brush first would ya! (just use a spoon people!)

I probably wouldn't put all the good stuff out of the vanilla pod into the simple syrup mixture, but I would toss it into my sugar and give it a little shake!

Try it out, let me know what you think. Or better yet drop by with a glass full and I will happily taste test it for quality assurance.

And yes the heating it up step is entirely necessary.

<3 Jill

I swear there's gold in those hills.

2011-01-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

I sat starting at this photo for several moments last night. It's really beautiful I thought. Not just because it's my little Lucy but because there's something about it. It also brought to the foreground some things I've been needing to address with myself.

I thought I would talk a little about the circumstances by which this photograph was made and why I fail at film.

or maybe I shouldn't...

no, I should.

I am starting another film photography class tomorrow and this is something I need to work though.

So after staring at this image for quite sometime I went back into bridge to have a look at this little group of photos. There were probably about twenty or twenty-five in the group. Over and over I searched for something else to catch my eye. It wasn't there. Out of all those images there was exactly ONE that was working for me.

Miss Lucy makes my heart sing.

She just wanted a bath so she could play with her new bath toys. Daddy pulled her hair up into a silly little bun, kind of off to the side. Not particularly prim. Its a sign that bath time will be more playing than washing. The light was pretty much as horrible as it gets. Pure incandescent, coming from straight up. But oh the way shes holding her little lips. and the tilt of the head just so. the wisp of fallen hair so perfectly dangling from her sweet noggin. a downward glance at just the right moment to show off those baby lashes. rosy. posy. cheeks.

And it occurred to me... this is why I am failing at film.

I should show you my contact sheets from last semester. Ha! Each image different from the next. I gave each intended shot exactly one try. Maaaaaaaaaybe two on very rare occasions. Never did I just take the camera and do what I do. And do you know how many shots I missed? Me either! Kind of glad I don't know actually :)

All I know is if I stopped after the first shot the above image would not exist. because sometimes its the little unplanned details that make the shot fantastic. and we all know you can't plan for unplanned perfection.

I mean you can try. good luck with that. Pretty sure the earth would stand still at that very moment.

bracing myself for the sheer number of frames I plan to shoot this next semester.

and now I must say goodnight as i have class quite early tomorrow!!!!!!

g'night.

When in doubt, glitter it out!

2010-12-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

Come Christmas time I start seeing sparkly treasure popping up all over my moms home.

really really cute stuff. Makes me envious!

Finally I got her to take me to her secret store filled with magical wonder!

It's not really secret, just so happens I've never been there before. But it really was oozing with sparkling holiday cheer.

It's up in Mesa, it's called the Orange Patch. Incase you wanted to check it out :)

love this guys stubby little arms...

Kassidy made me a new tree topper this year out of twigs and leaves from our Ash tree. It's really cute actually. We've had flying Santa topping it forever! Come to find out Santa look great where ever you put him on the tree!! Which is good because I <3 santa.

My kids LOVE these little plastic horses! Pretty sure it's all they actually cared about getting for Christmas.

What you see here ain't even half of their collection.

Kassidy cracks me up. I swear these guys are real to her. She sets them up with such care.

Lets pretend these ones have a history together, she'll say

and then goes on and on with the most amazing horse story you've ever heard.

the aftermath...

there is always an aftermath!

Hope you all had a merry Christmas!

Luckily I hate egg nog

2010-12-24T17:01:00.000-08:00

but sadly I do like apple cider!

oh shoot. The trouble with writing a blog post on Christmas eve is well...

A. theres no one out there to read it. Because you're all out there having fun at your family christmas parties.

and B. I'm not.

because I'm sick. *wimper wimper*

let me guess...

you didn't get my Christmas card.

So few did. And the tragedy is that I usually don't do Christmas cards. This year the stars aligned perfectly! (I mean until it was time to give them out and i got deathly ill)

We finally got a family photo of sorts. We went on a little road trip and pulled off the side of the road to take these. Hooray for tripods. (please note, Natalie was a bit ill that day)

BTW... I accidentally killed my tripod on this trip. *sheds a tear* I've been awesome at killing things lately. Especially photographical type things.

anyhoo, as you can see family photos with the Ison's are kind of a joke.

We have no clue what were doing. Did I mention this is the first family photo we've had since Kassidy was 1? Do you realize she's 12 now? and a half!!!!!!!

Fail.

My real intent for this trip was to take some black and white film photos. But I am thankful for the family photos we got out of it! Though by no means perfect still quite dear to me.

here's what Came out of my lens.

You wanna hear something funny? This morning I went to the bathroom as per usual and I got all shaky an went into a fit of cold sweats and nausea and the next thing i knew i was slumped up against the wall. Did I pass out on the toilet???!!! Oh my. Thank goodness no one walked in on that horror scene. No sugar plum fairies dancing around in your head tonight! haha!

Even though I'm sad that I'm missing my family party I do hope you're all enjoying yours! Have a Splendiferous Christmas all!

and if you get my card a bit late you'll know why ;) !!

cat bowl night at the Isons!

2010-12-18T17:45:00.000-08:00

When the food gods speak, I listen.

and what do they say?

SHARE!

Eh I don't know what's gotten into me but I am in a recipe sharing mood tonight soooo...

lemon chicken.

A much healthier lemon chicken than the one you know!!

because I know you need a delicious new recipe to get you out of your boring dinner rut. I also happen to know it needs to be easy, preferably with minimal ingredients and that is exactly why i am sharing :)

5 ingredients!

4 chicken breasts
1 C chicken broth
3 T sugar
4 T lemon juice
4 t corn starch

T = tablespoon
t = teaspoon

cube your thawed chicken. Sauté over med/high heat until the chicken is cooked through. Light brown is nice. Charred brown is welll... charred!

sauté= high heat, low oil.

in a saucepan add the chicken broth, sugar, and lemon juice.

take a little of this very mixture and stir it into the cornstarch in a separate little bowl until its soupy sans lumps.

add the cornstarch mixture to the chicken broth mixture and bring to a boil.

pour over your chicken.

voila! See that didn't take long at all!

oh you know what goes perfectly with this lemon chicken??????

My delicious fried rice recipe.

7 ingredients

3 eggs
1/2 an onion, small diced
6 cloves of garlic, minced
5-6 C cooked LEFTOVER rice. Can i just stress the importance of the rice being leftover??!! its needs to be cold thru and thru... and thru some more :)
variable amt. of soy sauce
1/2 t chili paste (optional, adds spice)
1 C frozen peas and carrots

first your gonna need to whisk the eggs pretty good. get your non-stick wok piping hot. Drizzle it with olive oil. Pour the eggs in and then pick the wok up! Yep with your hands and possibly some oven mitts. Then tip it so the eggs get swirled around the edges and it makes a thin flat circle off egg. Slide it out onto your cutting board. I usually fold it over and then slice it in thin strips. Set aside.

Then in your already hot wok :) add a little more oil. Toss in the onions. Sauté the onions for a minute or so then add the garlic for a brief minute.

Add the cold LEFTOVER rice to the pan. let it cook in there for a few minutes stirring occasionally.

In a separate bowl mix the soy sauce with the chili paste, I eye ball it but I'd guess its around 5-6 T of soy sauce??

Pour over the rice. stir it in real good.

Toss in the peas and carrots.

Woot. You're done.

The rice isn't hard but it does require thinking ahead a bit. What I do is when I make a dinner with rice I just cook twice as much rice as I need and refrigerate the rest for fried rice later in the week :)

and now for my next trick...

a photo of a bug.

that looks like a leaf.

and has nothing to do with anything.

p.s. asian style dishes taster better in bowls with cats on them. Give it a try!

it's good morning time!

2010-12-17T08:52:00.001-08:00

That is what Lucy says to me and Chad every morning as we try to sleep through the commotion around us.

But it was Natalie that woke me this morning.

Mom, Emma didn't answer her door

I am one of those moms. You know the kind that doesn't get up and see to it that their kids are well fed and groomed with their school bags all packed up good and proper.

Morning person is definitely on my list of wants for my next life.

Natalie and I had been out till after 10 last night trying to get some Christmas shopping done. Christmas shopping wears me out on a good day, letting it drag on well into the night is brutal.

We were tired.

ok, get in the car.

I grabbed my warmest p.j. pants which happen to be like the ugliest things you ever seen plus they don't stay on very well because they're missing a button... aaaaand yesterdays shirt. Glanced in the mirror. Wow, crazy hair. fantastic.

jumped in the car, reached for the sunglasses (because we all know these babies do more that just keep the sun out of our eyes... they also block the sleep face from being clearly and completely seen) you know its true.

dang! The sun wasn't out! ok fine never mind lets make this quick!

This my friends is how the morning began.

and then something kinda wonderful happened!

THE FOG!

It was sooooo perfectly magical!

And I could feel the giddy welling up inside. isn't that the best?! I ran back home and grabbed the camera so I could share the beauty! Man it was a gorgeous morning.

then there was the shift...

I went from totally embarrassed to leave the house like this even within the confines of my vehicle, to happily prancing around the cold wet neighborhood looking like a creature of the deep. haha!!!

I don't regret a single second of it :)

Fog is a rare thing for Arizona, add sleeping late to the mix and you may never see such a sight.

So what I really want to say is

THANK YOU Emma, from the bottom of my heart for not answering your door this morning! You made my day magical :) !!!!!

<3

attacks of the dustiest kind

2010-11-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

let me tell you what I miss.

color.

I've printed almost 225 black and white prints at school and man alive am I itching for some color.

Dad's got some new toys on the farm these days. and they're GREEEEEEEN!

(and don't you LOOOOVE how you can see that they're green?)

two of my most favorite men on the planet right here.

Lucy getting her pout on :)

I realize it's hard to tell but this is exactly what it looks like. A ten year old girl operating heavy machinery! She likes to scoop the dirt and dump it in a pile 3 feet away. Kind of like that little shovel scooper toy at the park only it's not at the park and it's most definitely not a toy.

and then sometimes black and white just works. Don't fight it. embraaaace.

See all that dust?

I was standing in that giant dust cloud.

I do unfortunate things sometimes. Like for instance how I just stood there wearing not one but TWO (yes two!) cameras amidst the bajillions of dust particles that LOVE to attack cameras and their attached lenses... instead of running for the hills.

oh I'm no dummy, I covered the lenses with my hands. oh wait, still dummy huh? yeah. I think I killed one lens for sure. which means I have exactly one lens left. ho hum.

Dear Santa Clause,

I would LOVE some new lenses for Christmas! I promise to always run for the hills hence forth :) !! Also the #1 key on my keyboard is acting wonky. I could use a new #1 key. thx!

your ever so cool bff, Jill

:)

Pilgrims vs. Indians

2010-11-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

So serious question for you all...

When is the last time you sported a bonnet?

because for me it was like three days ago.

My mom is so cute. She LOVES Thanksgiving. This year she got it in her head we should all dress up for our Thanksgiving feast.

HAHA!!!

here we all are with our best 'back in the day' faces on. Apparently we weren't ALL participating... *ahem Lucy and Logan!

Of course we did a smiley one as well. Which apparently we weren't all participating in that one either! haha!!!! *ahem... Savannah, Brent, Kathy, Chad and Mia aaaaand well, me. I'm at least half participating :)

Lucky for the indians we're a peaceful people! Clearly the pilgrims have the upper hand here. Thanks to Lori for volunteering Jeremy and meems to be indians. and thanks to Logan for wearing meems feathers when she refused.

Lucy was in a very silly mood.

She was telling jokes to the kids while they ate. They were having the best time.

truth: she wants that pie.

It was a really beautiful day here in AZ. My dad fell asleep out by the pool. I snuck out with the film camera to snap one of him sleeping... Chad got me!

Now isn't that just the perfect end to a perfect day?

Lucy, you crack me up.

How was your turkey? not too dry I hope.

Did you dress like pilgrims and indians? if no, then do you think you might consider it for next year?

Is it because this post was sooooo inspiring?????

... thought so!

thanks mom! For making us all bonnets and what nots. and also for cooking some of the stuffing not in the bird so I could eat it this year. It was a little bit crunchy but I found that I quite like it crunchy.

Stacey, next time come eat with us ok? Now we may never know what you would look like in a bonnet.

Winner's circle

2010-11-19T13:11:00.000-08:00

Ok so first of all

A HUGE THANK YOU to all who participated in this photoshoot giveaway.

I wasn't sure exactly what to expect having never done one before. You guys were amazing and totally came through for me!

So...

Me and Chad and Lucy went out this morning and had some fun making a little video. This is my way of trying to creatively announce the winner of the photoshoot contest.

I try. I really do :)

Just so there's no confusion...

The first name chosen is the name of the person who nominated the family that will win the photoshoot. Congratulations to Karen Spahar. I will email you and get some details from you!!

The second name chosen is the winner of the apron! Congratulations to Amy Greer!!!

And once again thank you to ALL who participated!

I think I may do these photoshoot giveaways periodically, what do you think??

Jill has good ideas?

<3

the old switcharoo. but in a good way.

2010-11-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

It's funny because every time I looked over at my blog archive in October I was feeling a little vexed.

Like ZING you lose. But truth is, October's got nothin on November!!!

YAY first post of the month!! Is November really half over?!?

In regards to the photoshoot giveaway...

at the very last minute I'm changing the rules on you!!

This will be better I am pretty darn sure!

ok so remember how I was going to post the stories of all the families nominated? oh and btw... A fantastically huge thank you to everyone that nominated a family. I loved reading all your heartfelt words. Lots of love going on here :)

That was supposed to be today. And you all were going to vote (something about democracy?) haha!!

Guess what else I'm a big believer in??

RANDOMNESS!!

So we're switching over to the random side of life. Ahhhh that actually feels SO much better!

Mostly because when really thoughtful people write really thoughtful words about people they believe in, well there tends to be lots of those thoughtful words. Which I love, but it's alot to ask of cool people like you to read through.

so new plan...

I am going to set up a random drawing that will be either video'd or photo'd extensively.

One for the photoshoot, and one for the apron!

{ btw... no one asked to see that apron!! you're all sooooo trusting } haha!!

The apron is very Heather Bailey meets Amy Butler!!! Two of my favorite designers!

I'm shooting for a Thursday posting, but don't hate me if it's Friday :)

in the spirit of randomness...

random lovely?!!

<3 Jill

Photoshoot Giveaway

2010-10-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

it's amazing what a little perspective can do...

film work | she's so proud

I have to tell you the truth. I am writing this for the second time. I deleted the whole first post. I was working so hard to get it posted by Thursday as per my 3rd attemped goal date :) and it just wasn't thrilling me. When you set a goal and miss three times, lets just say it's painful.

just one day, and a dose of perspective... makes a difference you know!!

It started with a simple idea.

I want to give away a portrait session to a family in need this holiday season.

overthinking. debating details. inner struggles. possible concerns. all these things had me fretting for weeks. When a friend asked me what my original intention was I responded with ' I just want to be a rad person', to which she responded with 'then go forth and be rad'

well alrighty then!

So I'm just going to put it out there all willy nilly like and see what comes of it :)

and then I'm going to beg like crazy for your help! (and maybe promise you the world or just a silly handmade apron)

Sooooooo. Here's the deal...

I need you {my amazing friends, all of you, even the ones I didn't even know I had} to nominate a family that you feel could use a little help getting family portraits done this year.

How this will go down:

You can email me a little blurb about your amazingly awesome family of choice. isonjill@gmail.com with the subject 'giveaway'

Then on November 15th I will go through and compile all the many entries *thinking positivly* which will then be posted to my blog where all you beautiful people will be encouraged to vote... because we believe in democracy, what ever that is :)

Some things to keep in mind:

PLEASE don't use names.

try to keep it fairly short. just say no to 2 page essays.

all entires must be in by Midnight November 14... arizona time (of course)

and it's kind of important that the family is local to the Phoenix,AZ area.

So what exactly does your family get if they win? excellent question!! They will recieve my $350 fall package which includes...

There's just this one more little thing...

I really really really want this to be awesome. I recognize that I've been blessed with so much. Probably more than I deserve and I just really want to be able to give of my time and talents SO if by some miracle we can get atleast 20 nominations I will give a second photoshoot away randomly.

As in a random drawing :)

because random is good.

So lets just sweeten this deal just a teensy bit more :) For every person that takes the time to nominate someone I will throw your name into the hat to win an apron, handmade with lots of love by me... I know, it's not the world or anything. But it is pretty cute.

and if you just can't think of anyone perhaps you could be of help by linking this post on your facebook page and/or blog.

Now you all know I LOVE comments, so feel free to comment away but PLEASE remember the entries MUST be emailed to me at isonjill@gmail.com by midnight Nov. 14th Arizona time!!

now let us go forth and be rad together!

<3 jill

What is, and what may never be

2010-10-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

There is this incredible photographer that I do not know. Not personally anyways. I like him on facebook. I try to follow his work but quite honestly he doesn't post it all that often. What I am left to enjoy is his words. I don't know where he gets his quotes. What I do know is that his words (where ever they are derived from) make me think deeply, and I get this sense of amazing spirit. A truly humble soul, he is. A few days ago he posted this...

the Seeker journeys a thousand miles to say 'I have arrived.' the Finder never stops arriving.
{ Jesh De Rox }

Simple as it is... this one especially stuck out to me as thought provoking. You see I am going through what I can only explain as a photographical identity crisis.

Where is this going for me?

Where do I want it to go?

Why haven't I done 'this or that'?

Why am I delving into film?

Am I going to make film a part of my photographical journey?

How far can I take this? How far do I want to take this?

Why can't I just stop searching for perfection? What even is perfection? Can I make my own version of perfection?

That's it! I want to find my own version of perfection. I don't want to fit into anyones pretty little pre-made box. I haven't yet fully discovered myself as a photographer. I haven't found my 'place'. Where you think I should be is perhaps not where I will choose to go. I am not afraid of the unknown path I am on.

It is this path that keeps me excited intrigued and invigorated to peer around the next bend of MY journey.

I am on a journey of my own choosing. I don't know where it will take me. I take pleasure in not knowing the outcome. I will not limit myself by putting up such a road block as 'a destination'.

My photography class has been incredibly encouraging for me. Amazing people have entered my life. I have been wanting to share some of what I have been working on at school.

Maybe you think I love to post photos of my bed. haha! No, not really. I was telling Carly on gchat about how I hung some of my work above my bed. She asked when she could see it. She saw it last night, and today I share with you!

This is a glimpse of one photo I particularly love.

Bless Kelly for dressing up all vintage and indulging my silly ideas. This comes from my shutter speed assignment. I call this one "extra credit' :) !!

The spectacular view is something taken in Sedona for my first assignment. It fulfilled the earth capture.

I got my first assignment back from Mr. Williams on Wednesday. This is what he wrote to me regarding said assignment. I made clear for you the part I found particularly fabulous.

"so boring it's great"

HAHA!!

You see?! That is exactly what I am talking about! That something so incredibly boring can be made great by one. Not by me, but the person that can find beauty in the boring. ( Thank you Mr. Williams ) Perhaps I will print this one to share with you later so you can decide if boring is beautiful.

P.S. please note... an A+ is not the rule in my life. it is the exception.

I am cooking up something for my next post that I hope will be wonderful for all who choose to be involved. please check back as I will need the help of many to pull this one off :)

<3 !!

I took a moment from my day...

2010-10-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

wrapped it up in things you say...

...and mailed it off to you.

I have totally been holding out Newport Beach photos on you!

Oh I know... the nerve of me eh?

A little something someone has tried to convince me of recently...

overwhelmed= lazy.

needless to say... I have been so overwhelmed lately :)

Aaaaaand one more thing! (well technically about 7 more things)

Occasionally some giant hearted people like to flatter my soul by passing on a blog award to me.

*falling to the floor in shame*

and usually I fail at posting/passing along. But not today folks!! My friend Hayley over at Capturing Sunshine passed the 7 Random Things Kreativ Blogger Meme on to me.

What does that mean for you??? Excellent question! You get to read 7 of the most randomest things I can think of about me.

*cue out clicks* haha!

un. Once I bought a pretty chandelier to hang in my closet. Chad did not approve. it instead hangs over my bed, which i LOVE, and so I am left to wonder if Chad really is more brilliant than me... like he proclaims.

deux. I love not camping. and why jill, do you so love not camping?? because because because, not camping is just what it sounds like... not camping. yay!!

trois. I never tell Tommy what to do to my hair. Only to just make it pretty. If he says shall we go a smidgen darker and add some violet... well yes of course we should I would say. As was the case last week.

quatre. I took french in highschool. I went by Claire in my class. My friend went by Bernard. I got an F. I don't know what he got. I wish he were alive to ask him today.

cinq. My kids are watching scary movies right behind me as I type these lovely randoms out. It is 8:28 pm. 28 minutes past Lucy's bedtime. I feel some bad dreams coming our way.

six. Who wants to do the Napoleon Dynamite dance with me?

sept. I still really want a volvo C30. But I want it in that sporty blue color... which it does not come in. Chad says 4 seats is not enough for a family of five. what-EVER! it's fine.

and that's a wrap!

I found this really old absurdly horrible photo I took of my bed forever ago. You can sorta see said chandelier! The kids like to shine the flashlight on it and make rainbows on the walls and ceilings :)

and now for passing the torch...
(this means you have no choice but to share some majorly random fun facts about yourself with the world!)

Randomly picked out of a hat (not) but in no particular order... Kelly. Lori. and Kristi. :)

Sweet dreams my friends.

Truth is, I'm still holding out on you. i can't help it, I'm just so dang overwhelmed :) !!!!!

I {heart} Earth.

2010-09-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

last week the sky was amazing. Tell me you saw it!

every week Kassidy is amazing.

... ... ...

I'm feeling very moody at the moment.

and by that I mean... in the mood to make a video with the flip.

serious. as in a seriously awesome minor motion picture.

I've been brainstorming.

occasionally good does come from using my brain.

very occasionally.

<3

and here I sit...

2010-09-24T22:48:00.000-07:00

a face full of oatmeal.

You would die laughing if you could see me right now.

oh man, I have a homemade oatmeal paste slathered all around my eyeballs and lips. If I get snackie I just give a little lick. ooh lala yummy. haha! when its gets all crusty and stiff I give it spritz of water so i can crinkle my brow again.

Soooooo I have to tell you about this because as Dr. Phil would say...

This is going to be a changing day in your life!

I actually had to look that up because I am not the Dr. Phil fan I would currently seem to be :)

A couple days ago my sister-in-law Kristi posted how she had given her daughter an oatmeal bath to help her with her eczema.

this was her exact post... Grind 2 cups oats in the blender, dump it in the bath, soak for 20 minutes and it helps relieve the itching from eczema. What the book doesn't tell you is what a mess the bathtub will be after the water drains! (I've been reading "Ezcema-free for Life" to help my little Chloe with her itchy, rashy skin.)

By the way, Kristi has no clue I went on her facebook page and copied her status to share with you all :) I think she's soon to find out though!

Kristi if you're reading this I must tell you that this is like a huge breakthrough for me. THANK YOU!

I feel like the leper that's been cured of leprosy! yes yes it's that good!

So do you know eczema? it's a horrid never ending disease which does not go away. ever. I assume most people know what this is even if you don't have it, BUT just incase its this dry scaly itching peely yuck skin.

My eczema is extra painfully annoying as it is mostly on my eyelids and above my lip.

oh? you thought I wore pretty pink eye shadow because I think it looks all rockstar? Ha! hardly. And I bet you think I drink way to much kool-aid too? n.i.c.e, but no.

that my friends is my lovely eczema. And that is on a good day when I've been very careful not to wear eye make-up. Especially eye shadow. and mascara.

I could show you my collection of ointments that have been prescribed but I think you would find it highly uniteresting especially because they don't work worth smelly old beans. they might tame it but IT IS ALWAYS THERE.

and then I met oatmeal.

I love oatmeal. I used to eat it when I was smarter. I mean for breakfast not just in cookies :) and now I wear it. I grind it up in my vitamix then add a little purified water until its pasty and then its just me and the oats slathering away in perfect harmony! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

I like how i can smell it on my face. Smells all earthy and wholesome. But most of all i like how I have my eyelids back!

I even wore eyeshadow for the first time in forever! WOOT!

Try it.

TRY IT!

you will love Kristi forever too.

<3 you Kristi!!

P.S. - Katie sung this song to me in my car tonight... so this ones for her :)

and what is this you ask?

Dare I say sunrise? I woke up at 5:30 am to photograph the moon. Decided I liked the sun better.

and here is just this one more swirly photo of Kassidy that somehow only made it onto facebook. Well, until now :)

<3 !!!!!!!

{ wanted: whirled peas }

2010-09-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm always in this great race against the sun.

and I lose 100% of the time. I say that alot I know but seriously!!! It seems to be quite true.

It's a real bummer.

Can you tell where were headed with this next assignment?

Discovering the thrills of shutter speeds :) !!

I took Kassidy out to work on this little effect. It was really too late. Sun was down. I am satisfied with about one in 20 shots. Those aren't great odds for a film shoot.

Oh dear.

cross your fingers for me!!!

p.s.- this was not a recommended or suggested effect in anyway... I just kind of like it :)

p.s.s- 100% might be a slight exaggeration... maybe.

Drool.

2010-09-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

Right in the middle of editing I was like BAM these need to hit the blog already!

His expressions are keeping me thoroughly entertained!

This is my nephew Brandon. You can call him brando if you want.

he likes me...

pretty sure.

I'm like 88% sure.

He likes me right Stace? Did he say he had fun? I thought we had fun together.

Asphalt. as in they're perched near it.

2010-09-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was so excited to scan my first ever handmade film image on to facebook.

I immensely enjoyed reading all the nice comments on it even though...

It's not prefect by any means.

And then off I giddily went to photog class this morning... where it proceeded to kick my butt. (the class, not the image)

I am not even kidding. I had a really hard time in class today. It was one of those Murphy's laws kind of days.

Even I have to admit I am glad its over :) know what I mean?

it's just that I am nearing the threshold of stress which one person can take and still also be sane. You. Don't. Even. Know.

It's not the photography. It just feels like it in the moment. It's all the 'other' stuff.

The stuff in which i dumped off my shoulders to a friend at lunch yesterday. I hate it when it all pours out. I hoped she didn't think me crazy and horrible and grumbly. I don't want to be those things.

Seriously bless her heart for listening. I couldn't possibly feel less judged.

She called me twice today. Yes twice. The first time she called it was 6am. haha! I bet you're wondering just what kind of friend rings your phone that early! (A very good one :) and then again unexpectedly later just because she was thinking of me all day.

and she said to me "I can't believe you didn't crack a tear the whole time"

I am admittedly surprised by that as well, but then again this isn't a new discovery.

Tomorrows a new day + someone cares, that right there is reason enough for me to put on a happy face and strive to find the good I seek.

Sorry I can't share more. Please don't guess. In a million years you'd never be right anyway.

g'night :)

if not for the shadows

2010-09-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

how would you see the way the light falls?

and how can you say you love the light but not the shadows.

It doesn't even make sense.

The shadows help define the light... think about it.

5:30am | looking eastward down Elliott Road as the sun rises.

I found this photo the other day and it struck me as a bit strange... especially considering the circumstances of which it came to be.

AND IT BUGS ME. because what happened was a couple months ago we were having issues with our smoke detectors. You know how when the battery gets low it beeps very randomly... usually in the middle of the night making it that much more of a nuisance?

yes well, this wasn't that.

it was full on going off. Like my house was on FIRE.

This photo came to be on the first incident. it was approx. 5:30am. Chad doesn't even get off work until 6am. The kids were freaked out. I texted Chad numerous times... *crickets* Not knowing what was going on i decided to leave my 'used to be blue' house and go to my moms. We used to call it our 'little blue house', but it's faded to white and so it is now known as our 'used to be blue house' :)

I sent the kids out to the garage and I went back in for my camera. (indeed this is the part that bugs me)

I didn't think the house was on fire... but I didn't know. I mean it appeared not to be, but what if i missed something?

I grabbed my camera?!?!

what the heck! You see, the problem is that the camera is so super-de-duper replaceable. The images it's captured not so much.

Next time I'm grabbing the mac!!

and when I came out there was this note hanging from the door knob...

I love how they gave him my phone number! huh?! haha!!

I found the whole note hilarious. Plus I knew Chad would freak a little coming home to that which serves him right for not responding to wife texts with key words such as *fire* and *screaming bloody murder* at 5:30am.

haha. J/k about the serves him right thing. i knew he just didn't get them...

but incase you wondered, yes it does horrify me to see just how grubby my garage door/wall is! GROSS!!

p.s. if I start getting funky calls in the middle of the night... well, I doubt I will even notice because half the time I can't hear my ringer when I am awake... but still... don't do it.

not literal irony. That's MY motto.

2010-09-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

You might want to prepare yourself...

to be super un-impressed!

Ha!

I thought I would share a bit of what I've gotten to do in my photography class.

These are my photograms...

I got a little excited and did 3!

Mr. Williams had us bring objects from home for these :) Can you tell what I brought?

let me help you out here!

a key. super cheap forever 21 necklace. 70's looking glass I found at Goodwill a while ago. scraps of fabric. Pretty little fabric sack I pack earring and bobby-pins in when I go on vacation so they don't scatter in my make-up bag. and marbles. some of which are in a plastic sandwich baggie. Yes katie, YOUR marbles... good for more than just the 'great jar of bravery' I borrowed them for :)

I had so much fun that day!

Mr.Williams gave us an assignment. I took one look and was like. pshhhah. This will be so cinchy. NOT! Haha!

I struggled with it like crazy. He gave us 12 words. We were to capture each idea on a 24 exposure roll of film. Thats 2 tries for each word. BTW... he added that they weren't necessarily literal subjects.

There were words such as 'a tree' 'a house' which seem easy at first glance but in reality were hard because um... well I don't like to be generic. (I have been known to over think things from time to time) and then there was 'light itself' which I wondered how that would look black and white...

and 'irony'... no thank you. I'd rather not.

We don't even speak that word in my house anymore!!!

needless to say my irony photo is not literal irony!

Did I tell you we went to Sedona and Jerome for labor day? I thought it would be perfect. I could get my homework done and relax all at once.

again... HA!

I should've known. Well anyway, just so you know...

my photos are fabulously generic :)

But the great part is that in school today we got to develop the film!!!!!!!!!!!! I was just happy to see something on there! Seriously, you never can tell with film. Well I can't anyway.

I tried to scan the negatives (because I am antsy, and I wanted to see what they look like if I inverted them in photoshop)

Yep. My scanner doesn't do transparencies.

I suppose I will just have to wait for Monday to see what I got.

You know what?! I am so happy right now. Like floating on air happy.

ahhhhhhhhhh! Time to go mop the floor and bring myself down to earth just a bit. Earth... yet another one of my words.

nighy night!

Krissy and James are having a baby!

2010-09-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to ruin the surprise right now and tell you

IT'S A GIRL!

Do you ever have those moments where your rolling down the street, singing along with the tunes... a good song comes on and then suddenly you hear it.

Your Bob Marley ringtone. it's competing with your favorite song (that almost never comes on the radio)

You don't recognize the number so you have to make the crucial decision, ignore and continue your singalong, or turn it off and take the unsuspecting mystery call...

I took it. Honestly so unlike me. I am extremely good at ignoring the phone. Plus I have to get my singing fix somewhere (you know it's not going to be at church... right!) Ever wonder why I won't sing at church? Maybe I will tell you later. aaaaaaaand then again maybe I won't.

I was caught completely off guard When asked if I would do photos!

You can probably imagine why. It's bloody hot these days! I usually try to talk people into waiting until it cools off but this baby isn't waiting around for cooler weather!

Lucky for us we had a bit of a cool down last week. I think it only got to like 101 that day, but it was humid as heck!

Hats off to krissy! She was fabulous to work with! Didn't complain even once, but she did continue looking gorgeous till the very end :) !!

Perfect nails... just sayin.

Krissy giggled nearly the whole time. Can I just say I love happy people?!

Thank you guys! I loved meeting and working with you! Your baby has no choice but to be gorgeous!

p.s.- I saw pictures of the nursery... oh my gosh! It is DARLING! Krissy is an artist, maybe that has something to do with it? Or maybe it's James's crafty skills. The world may never know!

The cheese post.

2010-08-31T08:08:00.001-07:00

Finally!

Ok so this is something I have already posted on facebook waaaaay back in February. And my reasons for posting this to my blog 6 moths later are these...

A. not all my blog readers are my friends on facebook! Why I do not know, but it is what it is :)

B. I've been trying to cook more these days to benefit my family, ie... eat dinner at home with my kids all sitting around my kitchen table without interruption and well the obvious saving money issue I must always think about.

C. This is the perfect day after meal! ie... if for dinner you are planning to have spaghetti, ravioli or homemade pizza (or the likes of anything along these lines) ... you would put to good use your leftover homemade marinara/pizza sauce.

D. a friend of mine mentioned her attempted vegetarianism on the exact day I was making homemade pizza ~good timing Carly~ thus reminding me of my attempted veganism (didn't go well) upon which I invented this amazing sandwich which I do believe I could open a little restaurant based solely upon.

Because its really good.

and I want to share it with you...

because I love you.

I call this The Cheese Ball Sandwich

This is what you do...

toast 2 slices of whole wheat (careful here not all whole wheat bread is created equally)

I spread a little leftover homemade marinara from tuesdays nights vegetarian ravioli. I do believe homemade is key here. I wish everyone would try making marinara it is beyond yum and almost as easy as opening a jar of prego (blech!)

the next layer was fresh spinach

now dont get scared off here! after that i sauteed some fresh mozarella sprinkled with panko bread crumbs.

on top of that i had an egg cooked over easy (yes folks runny yolk... you can do it)

a layer of sliced avacado

few more scoops of marinara

freshly grated parmesan cheese

another layer of spinach then top it with your wheat bread.

YUMMY!

you're welcome :)

p.s.- I KNOW this is not in anyway a vegan sandwich (per my attempted veganism)

baby steps my friends. baby steps :)

p.s.s.- Lolo just reminded me to tell you that if you just can't deal with eggs... it's still a good sandwich, just not 'open a restaurant based solely on it' worthy is all. Omit the egg if you must.

A good little citizen of the United States of America!

2010-08-24T21:59:00.000-07:00

As I was loading these pictures up I was eating cheesecake. I was like cheese... cheese... something about cheese.

and then I remembered what I had planned to post today. Plans change. Cheese will have to wait.

Unless you want me to tell you about how I once made a cheesecake that tasted exactly like cheese.

It was gross. Thats all there really is to that story.

...

Lucy finally got to start school today! She looks pretty excited don't you think?

no?

Um yeah no. BUT she did admit to having fun after the fact. We have been having some motivational issues with Lucy lately. Her main goal for every day is to stay home and play on the computer as much as possible.

She's an addict.

Perhaps it's time to move the computer out of her bedroom??

Do you think i dressed her patriotic enough for voting day? Total coincidence. I promise. I'm really not that nerdy.

Did you vote today?! I did.

If you live south of Guadalupe Rd. you probably didn't get to fully enjoy the monsoon taking place north of Guadalupe Rd. about dinner time. (it was a doozey) I got all excited to take my kids out in the rain and get some fun photos...

Pulled into my neighborhood... dry as a bone. What does dry as a bone mean anyway? I don't get it and yet I freely use it. Hmm.

conditions not being what I had hoped for I sat around and WAITED for the rain... that never arrived.

hence the flowing golden locks.

and the sky was moody, so even though the sun was up, it was hiding behind the dark clouds in the west.

Hence the graininess.

I saved this one for last.

I think because I love it most. It looks like an old photo I've seen before. I edited this photo three other ways and in the end boring old black and white is what stuck. With all the tricky B&W actions these days you'd think... but no.

Now i shall have to look through all my old photos to see why this is sticking out as familiar to me.

just a side note: my mom surprised me today. It was so sweet an unexpected. She must have read my recent blog post where I had posted some pretty things from Anthropologie... remember those pretty little vases?

They showed upon my doorstep today!!! Haha!! my mom is amazing.

love you ma! <3

(just goes to show what putting it out there can do for you!!)

cheese and tomato with a side of nostril rings

2010-08-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

If I could choose just one word for today it would most definitely be

Sweltering!

This sweltering days is the day I happened to find myself at school for the first time in like, ummmmm... 10 years?

Wow. That makes me feel really old. But wait, community college style schooling, closer to 14 years. Crazy!

Here's my little synopsis of my time at college today...

Showed up with scant time to spare. Parked without a parking permit. What can I say? I like to live on the edge... not really though, I just didn't want to be late because I was really excited!! :)

Sat front and center so I could stare the teacher down right proper. He didn't notice.

Sat there kinda awkwardly for near 5 minutes whilst the rest of the class filed in.

and guess what! I WASN'T the oldest person in the class!! Woot! There was this one guy that was noticeably oldish. He gave me a wink and a nod, I think he was acknowledging our common condition. That being people over the age of 20. But just for the record oldish dude... no more winks or nods please.

When Mr. Williams started talking it went alot like this...

This is my first year teaching here, he said. I have previously taught at ASU, the labs here are much nicer

Yeah Yeah!! I like where this is going :)

At this point you can't wipe the smile off my face.

I was sitting next to Taylor. He has a liking for body piercing. Really that is just a guess... he had something shiny and loopy in his nostril. He is the only person I took any real note of and mostly because of his shininess. And maybe because he was sitting next to me. And I could smell him alot.

very smokey shiny little fella.

and then just like that Mr. Williams piped up again

This should be a short class, we can't really do anything without cameras.

Wait what? You people didn't bring your cameras?!?!?!?!!

*cue smile fading*

further along whilst reading from 'required materials' list

you guys will need to purchase a camera, I recommend thePromaster 2500PK with 50mm f/1.7 lens.

Wait what???? You people don't even have a camera yet??!?

oh and by the way, there's no class on Wednesday... take that time to gather your materials

and then it was over, just like that.

What? I feel so jipped off!

Sooooooo I packed up my camera and headed over to Tempe Camera to gather all the other supplies on the list. it was a long list. $191 long.

In all fairness it does say in bold type and underlines: $$$ Photography is very expensive!!! Expect to spend up to $400 for materials

So I guess that includes the camera?

But don't get me wrong. I am still super excited for the days that class is actually in session, which apparently is next week.

Remember the post I did a while ago with shots of Natalie that I did with my photography group? I kind of forgot to show you that one image I talked so highly of. Remember? It's the one Rhonda took.

Still. LOVE.

Here it is for you guys...

Something about it I just kind of adore :)

I had other postings planned for today but they will have to wait until tomorrow. Just think CHEESE.

Everybody loves cheese right?

well... until you eat too much that is. Then you suddenly don't.

Dear Lolo,

Do you remember that cheese and tomato salad I made you that one night? Remember how it was literally just cheese and tomatoes drizzled with oil and vinegar? Still one of my favorite salads, I mean if you add the cracked pepper and basil its better but we do what we can with what we got.

love, Jill

p.s.- That has nothing what-so-ever to do with the next post. Just a happy thought I'm passing along :)

Bad Idea Jeans.

2010-08-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those days that are just full of bad ideas?

and did you know that bad ideas can be caused by wearing the wrong jeans?

It's true.

They're called bad idea jeans. Everyone owns a pair. You should stay far away from them.

I wore mine yesterday { by mistake of course }

Early in the day (about shower time) I carelessly left a pile of clothes on the tile floor that would later cause lucy to split her chin wide open...

bad idea jeans!

8 stitches later my 4 year old has blue whiskers :)

and of course I took a detailed shot to gross you all out!

I knew you'd look.

I made Lu hold a paper towel up to her chin even after the bleeding slowed down. Something i learned about myself yesterday...

I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to blood and gaping wounds. Who knew?

The bad ideas didn't stop there!

See this ball of moss?

it has a name.

I call it...
piece of stupid huck get off my fingers ow i burned myself smells like a swamp shoulda just bought it dang who do i think i am martha stewart dead lumpy ball of mossy horror

I had some time to think the name over a bit. Seemed fitting.

and it all started when i saw this odd ball vase. if you can call it that...

and in it sat a perfectly adorable styrofoam ball covered in something that appeared to be a moss type substance.

and the price of the moss ball was $8.

Who are they kidding? That is moss glued to a ball! I can totally make that!

problem #1:

styrofoam ball, $4
bag of moss, $4

Now anybody can see what just happened here. I paid the same as I would have for the perfectly pre-made ball of moss as I did for piece of stupid huck get off my fingers ow i burned myself smells like a swamp shoulda just bought it dang who do i think i am martha stewart dead lumpy ball of mossy horror

and normally this wouldn't be a problem except do you know what bagged moss smells like? and did you know its real moss? which I'm guessing is why it smells so divine. and did you know it comes with real dirt? and dead spots? and it ain't that easy to glue to a styrofoam ball?

Neither did I!

Upon showing Chad my lumpy creation he said... why didn't you just buy the mossy ball at the store?

THANK YOU! I think I shall next time :)

Lucy: Can I put this down now? it stinks.

haha!!! even Miss Stitches wants nothing to do with it!!

Super fabulous non-ugly lumpy ball of moss for sale... $8

:)

do. as in don't not... get it?

2010-08-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Ever been to a little beach town in CA by the name of Ventura?!

go.

seriously, don't not. Do, go that is. It is completely adorable.

There was the cutest little camera shop there.... Dexters. All the vintage cameras in the window immediately caught my eye. I had to go in. Oh. my. goodness.

You should see it! The whole wall is filled with cameras but the top three shelves were all old vintage cameras!

So of course I had to ask... are these for sale??

If you really want one we could work something out.

:) yes please!!

Pretty cute isn't she?

you're drooling aren't you?! haha!! ok fine. Maybe it's not drool worthy. I only paid $25 bucks for it and that was probably too much, though i haven't looked so i am not sure!

They said it works so...

{ note to self: search for film online }

haha! Look at me all "look at my awesome cameras and my giant tri-pod and whatever you do don't forget to notice the red square lucy stamped on my arm earlier today"

Did you really think I had a red square birthmark? It's not like its unheard of you know. But yeah no. It's ink.

But the real question is... did you notice my earrings?

This is where i let you in on a little secret ;) !!

About a year ago I was sitting in Relief Society just enjoying the lesson... seriously can't remember what it was even on... but thats ok because it's not crucial to my point. Someone spoke up and mentioned how they try to wear earrings everyday, because it makes them feel pretty and 'dressed'...

and wouldn't you know I didn't own one pair of earrings at that point! And then as I was walking through Anthropologie soon after, the earring rack caught my eye and this lady's words came back to my mind. So I bought some.

I want to feel pretty! ... and 'dressed'!

So I wore those earrings, like everyday. I still love them actually they're my favorites :) and you know what?! This works! You gotta try it. I could be wearing 20 year old pajamas and not showered for a day (even earring have limits people... one day max, after that take a shower!) as long as those earring are in I feel dressed. No joke. Try it!

And you know what else?! I notice people noticing them :) I see them seeing my earrings and i am almost positive they're thinking, wow this girl is dressed!

You laugh and mock me now but you will see. That earring rack will catch your eye and suck you in! Don't worry it's all for the best. I now own 4 pairs of earrings. This is good so people don't think I'm some wacky superstitious girl that HAS to wear the same earring everyday. haha!

Dangly. I love the dangly ones :) LOVE!!

See that shirt I'm wearing? The lady at the store (oh please, you KNOW what store!) anyhoo, the lady at the store said this was a dress. A dress??

I will be wearing it as a shirt! thank you very much ;-)

Can you even imagine?? Sheesh!

*eyes rolling* yeah let's get back to some good camera talk!

So... I shined this baby up! The lens still looks dirty. Gotta work on that, or do I?? maybe the dirt is fun?! I wish I had film, I love the oldschool viewfinder. It's on top. You look down into it! Here see for yourself!

Can you see it? Here's a closer view...

it's Lucy sitting on my mom's couch watching Charlotte's Web :)

Pretty rad huh!

I had my camera on me everywhere i went today. And since I am unfortunately addicted to Anthropologie I found a way to work it into my 'to-do' list for the day...

found some stuff I am fairly certain I need! Like these fantastic bowls.

{ things you didn't previously know about me: I am a dish person. }

you know everything else. Seriously I have too many dishes. I love them. I will show you sometime I am quite certain of that!

oh and aren't these to die for?! pretty pretty pretty. want. want. want.

Hey maybe since I let you in on the little earring secret you could pick me up one of these snazzy vases whilst you get yourself some lovely earrings?!

Just thought I'd throw that out there and see what happens.

g'night!! <3

p.s. did I tell you that i signed up for a photography class at the community college?!

SO EXCITED!

She's not as terrified as she looks... I promise :)

2010-08-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Remember my first favorite photo from our Newport Beach adventure??

yes, well I have a second favorite too :)

This ought to bring a smile to your pretty little face!
...

A chance capture, lets face it you can't plan for images like these :) but you can relish in delight when you score one!!

Woot! Woot!

good friends. good times.

2010-08-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

She said I would never think of them the same after this.

she. was. so. right.

You're going to think I'm a nerd...

when you hear...

I got little emotional...

as I was editing these...

{ the above photo is my most favorite from the whole trip... just BTW }

and I will agree.

a thousand times over!

Could you guys be any more perfect?

But just so you know... we had an amazing time. Thank you so much for thinking we're cool enough to hang with night and day.

Lots more to come but these here are especially for Amy & Josh!

p.s. they taught me how to play hearts... I still don't get it. haha!!! one of these days...

The faces of Vogue

2010-07-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

Pretty foxy eh?

I got some fantastic old { not quite vintage, but almost } VOGUE patterns the other day for a whopping 75% off

*the crowd goes wild*

ok so "almost vintage" might be stretching it a bit. The truth is I've got an IMAX ticket more vintage than that dress pattern.

Wednesday April 3, 1996 @ 7pm Mystery of the Maya and The living Sea

Quite riveting on the big screen I am sure! And I am positive Chad's extensive collection of Garbage Pail kids is at least as vintage if not more vintage than the lovely dainty delicates pattern. With a copyright of 1986 it's a real toss up!

I suspect I shall be up to my ears in fun times before I know it.

I couldn't be happier about it :) !!

and for tomorrow??...

glad you asked, off to Newport Beach

*and again the crowd goes wild*

followed by a moment of cricketty silence...

cheerio my friends, cheerio.

The sound of the waves whilst lying in bed...

2010-07-24T00:33:00.000-07:00

is as amazing as you might imagine!

I'm just going to get it out now because I know you're gonna ask...

Yes it was cold as can be at the beach in July! How dare it!

but we managed. { huddle. huddle. shiver. shiver. }

this is My little sister and her cute little family.

Dad and mom. They look cold don't they?

Kassidy took over the camera from time to time.... She wants to be a photographer to someday... something about pet grooming/portraits... yeah ok I may have put it in her head but she wants to be a vet and she loves animals, you see how that could be bad for her? animals dying all over the place!?..?!! (possible slight exaggeration) Fluff and style... that more like it right? and what better time to get a pet portrait than when your beloved fido has just had a spa day!!

ok so i am fairly certain you were just dying for a close up. 0% chance I'm gonna let you down!

Tantalizing eh? She's has in interesting "eye". Don't worry i spared you the fish with its bum ripped off.

you're welcome ;-)

I can't help but notice how my dear loved ones pretend I'm just some random crazy fool. Pay her no attention and maybe she'll go away :)

haha... NEVER!!

That is what the shakes at Ruby's will do to you. Makes you all giddy and whatnot!! One shake = enough for two. keep that in mind when you go.

We found a field of yummy u-pick strawberries. I think the kiddos really liked filling the buckets.

My sweet little nieces... Paige and Kallie. She's looking eager!!

I guess this is what Lennon meant by strawberry fields forever. I had never seen a strawberry field before! We don't have these an Arizona. Saguaros though... yep. Got those!!!

this beach house my dad rented was BEAUTIFUL! It was the BMW of beach houses for sure! Chad and I stayed in the pearl room. Seriously we were so spoiled!

Lucy and Savannah playing out on the lower balcony.

Skies so gray...

Some of us were brave enough to play in the water.

actually pretty much everyone but me :)

and the squirrels... they hid in the rocks.

Kassidy is a polar bear I've decided.

Chad is dedicated to learning to surf. I saw him get sorta up-ish... a couple times. Next time though, that's when it's gonna happen for sure. oh btw... next time is in about a week. Some super cool friends invited us to spend a few days with them in Newport beach!!!!! *squeals with excitement* Yeah we're party animals haha!!

Pray for sunshine in CA!!

My Rad Dad.

The Boys.

The girls. ( Surely you see why Lucy is so divine to photograph don't you?! )

Does your dad do this? haha. my rad dad again!!

I know you want to smooch those squishy little cheeks! This is my darling niece Mia. She likes me alot.

Lori taking charge of the sand castle building!! Looks like it coming along nicely. Not as nice as these peoples though. (It's not our fault, we didn't know you could hire professional sand castle builders to teach you how to build the kind of sand castles that make it onto the pages of magazines. P.S. - I follow Nicole's blog faithfully. She rocks photography and shes funny. Thats all the reasons I need :)

We briefly met up with some friends that were there coincidently! Kassidy and Olivia had fun prancing on the beach together.

This is one of my favorite shot from our fabulous week. It's one of those "I took this while walking it shoulda been trash but alas it's dear to my heart" photos. Crazy how those ones happen sometimes.

Thank you Mom and Dad for taking us on such an awesome memorable vacation!

I know that I am so super late posting this but I seem to have developed a case of carpal tunnel... ouch! Makes it just a little miserable to edit photos like that!

Anybody know what to do about carpal tunnel??

sales... and unicorns :)

2010-07-24T00:06:00.000-07:00

I swore I'd never do this.

Buy Matilda Jane, that is.

Why on earth would I spent 4 times as much on something I am quite capable of making myself?!

Right?!!

Apparently "I brake for sales" or "I break for sales" ... you choose.

you gotta admit those socks make you giddy with delight don't they!

{ note to self: remember to sew pretty lace to delightfully fun knee socks }

The skirt is way too big, but she doesn't seem to mind it swiveling around her hips.

Ok fine... i love Matilda Jane. (even though I could totally make equally cute things for a quarter the price)

My kind of fun

2010-07-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

Remember that summer photog group I wanted to start?

yes... well I had just the right amount of interest and voila!!

Can I just tell you how elated this makes me?!?! very. Thanks to Kim and Troy and Amy and Mendy and Tara for wanting to do this!! Oh and not to leave out our coolio guest members Rhonda and DeAnn (out-of-towners)!!

We had a group shoot Thursday morning... we got to meet Rhonda (our friend from Georgia... not to brag but I actually already knew Rhonda ;)

Anyhoo... it was bloody hot. We are in AZ after all! I was dripping sweat, pretty sure everyone else was too! Even sweet Natty. I hired her to be our model for the morning.

Five buck and a slupree was all it took. (I think she's raised her rates since then)

She did awesome. Talk about a trooper. She didn't complain once! (so not kidding) She is fabulous :)

Here are some of my shots...

I'm so proud of my group! Every single person got some amazing shots, I'd love to share some with you but they aren't mine to share. There is this one Rhonda took that i just adore... She hasn't even posted it to our group wall yet but oh if she'll give me permission I will for sure post it here! (hehe... we worked on it at my house so I have it saved on my computer to enjoy)

If you missed the post about the photography group and are interested in doing this I am considering doing one for fall as well.

Hope you like :) !!

The Sky Was whitish-gray.

2010-07-12T23:42:00.000-07:00

Miss me much??

The girl: Miss Lu
The place: the park with the swings... not slides
The mood: jolly and carefree
Off in the distance: the pier
The sky: stark white!

Vacation is splendid. That is where I've been off to these days.

Oceanside, CA to be exact.

I think I will love to tell you all about things like:

holes... and the squirrels that live in them; not so hot tubs; my eyes + sea air = something magical; parks with slides... not swings; holy bathrooms of doom; milkshakes at Ruby's; strawberry fields forever; pads that start with i, and I want one bad; moody skies; double decker balconies; machine gun laughs; sharks on sticks; sand sand and more sand... seems fitting for a sandstrom family vacation... don't you think?

and if it so happens that I don't tell you all that, well I will at least post some photos. Their worth a thousand words a piece!

but for now... slumber sweet slumber :)

g'night.

ME and SHE (so improper)

2010-06-26T13:31:00.000-07:00

I think a good lot of people would look at this image and say wow that is not a great photo...

And they would be wrong.

This photo is the picture of perfection. There is nothing more beautiful...

I sometimes sit and stare at it. Happy tears well up. (just a little) She's looking at me with her ocean blue eyes. Our hands clasped together and she smiles. I am smiling back at her. She trusts me. Not that I deserve it, but oh how it means the world to me.

It's a story of love and second chances and a heart full to the brim with gratitude.

I'd like to say thank you for all the kind words sent my way. Not that I deserve that either... but still I am thankful. It's nice to think maybe people aren't hating me for such stupidity even if I still am. It's going to take a bit to shake this one off. Hopefully I won't shake it all the way off. Perhaps it's there for a reason.

So this was June 22nd. Two days after...

My mom let Kassidy and Natalie spend the night at her house (their dream come true) So we had Lucy all to ourselves. We took her to lunch at Jason Deli. She loves that place, mostly because of the complimentary ice cream :)

And then we took her to see Toy Story 3 in 3-D. It was really cute. She sat on my lap with her 3-D glasses looking like a little movie star the whole time.

After that I thought it would make me feel good to get out and shoot. We decided we must go check out Tempe Town Lake. There wasn't much sun left when we got there but kudos to Chad for grabbing the tripod!! Doing things feels better than not doing things. Just always remember that ok?!?!

There's something that's been bugging me for a while now. Since Sunday it's crossed my mind nearly a thousand times...

We don't have a family picture.

I know, it's really sad. Not to mention pathetic!

Jill's first things first list...

a. Soak in all the things that matter.

b. Family photo.

c. Doesn't matter.

Have a nice weekend!! :)

it's completely unbearable to think about. I wish I wasn't thinking of it right now.

2010-06-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

But it's all I can think about at the moment.

Lots of blank staring. and crying. headaches. I cancelled my photography group shoot that was supposed to be this morning. I hadn't slept all night.

This comes from the lowest of low places in my life. I never want to be here again.

somethings are so very personal I can't be sure if it's shareable. I'm not sure if this is one of those things or not. Keep reading and you will see why I choose to do so.

After the lights went out and the T.V. was shut off and it finally became very silent, I lay in bed just sobbing. I didn't want to say it out loud. I didn't want to say anything, but especially not this.

chad, We almost lost Lucy today.

*silence*

She's ok, he says

But she almost wasn't! It was close. Too close. Way too close.

Yesterday lucy fell asleep in the car on the way to wish chad's dad a happy father's day. She was left by accident in the hot car. I don't even know how long she was in there. I don't know what time it was when we got there, or when we left our house. Looking at the clock after discovering her didn't tell me anything, but it was a while.

Lucy must have some very devoted angles looking after her. I've ran this through my head a million times. I don't know how we escaped life altering misery. Only by the grace of God is all I can come up with.

If Lancee hadn't decided to leave when she did... or if Lucy hadn't been crying when she was... I can't bear to let my mind wander there even one more time. She'd be gone. I wouldn't have even wondered where she was, because in my mind she was playing with her cousins back in the toy room. There's nothing odd about that.

She said she wasn't crying in there very long, he tells me...

that makes me feel worse actually. To me that just means we were even closer than I thought. If she hadn't started crying yet... or if she gave up...

I was talking about this to my sister a couple of weeks ago. We said "it happens when schedules change, and things out of the ordinary take place."

it's true. We don't ordinarily visit Chad's parents on Sunday. And if we do there aren't ordinarily tons of people there, and Chad doesn't ordinarily grumble at me for parking too close to the wall, and Kassidy doesn't ordinarily bang the car door into the wall which makes it worse, and Tawna doesn't ordinarily pull up behind us and Razz us about not being able to leave until She decides to...

But one thing that does ordinarily happen is in the late afternoon if you put Lucy in the car she immediately falls asleep. And would you believe I was just telling Trevor that earlier that very day when he asked if she still takes naps?...

There is an amazing photographer who is an amazing person who lost an amazing little girl in a very similar way. I don't follow very many blogs, I would say there's about 3 total I look at all the time and all others I read only every so often. Sheye's is one blog I always read. I've been following her for years now. I love to look at her work and I love to read her words. She is very genuine. I often cry reading her posts. I cried the other day reading her most recent post in fact. I think of her loss, what she has to bear, and the circumstance surrounding her tragedy often. This is never far from my mind, so how did this happen to me?

I remember her describing how crystal clear the happenings of that day are to her. How she remembers every little detail she would have otherwise forgotten. And you know what? I think something similar happens when it comes so very close to you.

I see Lucy in daddy's arms and her head is sweaty and I see the braid, and like a haunting echo I remember leaning over to my sister who was blessing her baby in church that day, and saying sarcastically, who did Lucy's hair today? It looked terrible. It was me, I did it, though I didn't say so. So when she came close to ask me for some candy I snatched her up and pulled her hair out of the pony and put a little french braid in the front and then ponied it back up. It looked 100x's better. And When she came back for candy again she had the flower from Natalie's hair sitting right on top of her head. I thought it looked silly plopped right on top. it didn't go with her dress what-so-ever. But silly as it was I left it there, because in a way it was so adorable. And there it still sat, atop her sweaty little head. Glad to see it bobbling around.

and I thought of the video I took of her earlier that day at Stacey's house. She gave me the grumpiest look. And she held up one of Kallie's baby dolls and asked if she could please have one of those for her half birthday. And I lay there thinking that could have so easily been the last capture of my precious baby girl. And i think of the video I was taking minutes before she was discovered and I remember thinking how fun this would be to look at in a few years when the kids on it are a bit older, She was out in the car crying her eyes out and I was inside videoing what would have been the most painful footage ever to watch. And I would never have ever watched it.

little things kept popping in my mind.

like when I walked into the kitchen and saw her cup of milk sitting on the counter right where she placed it after asking for milk. I said no. It's because the cup already had milk in it from the first time she asked me for milk that morning. She wanted fresh milk because that milk was rotten... I didn't give her any.

and I remembered how she looked laying on the bed in Natalie's room early that morning. I woke the other girls up to make Chad breakfast at 6:25 am because thats about what time he gets home from work... but I let her sleep.

and how she came and asked me if she could sing "Happy Father's Day" to daddy... I said sure, never heard that song before. She plopped down right at chads feet and sang Happy Father's Day to the happy b-day tune. And it was the cutest thing ever. She had a very serious look on her face.

And how I came home from the blessing and declared to Chad "we need a new car!" he wondered why, and I said, "because our car is too hot!" It's true what they say, black cars really are hotter. It was the hottest day we've had I am pretty sure.

and the Father's day card she made for Grandpa. It was tucked in the pocket of the drivers seat right in front of where she sits in the car. We never made it to that Grandpa's house that night. I never did get to properly say happy Father's day to my dad. I knew I was just going to be a bumbling crying mess for the rest of the night. i didn't even call. Just a short email to my mom with essential details.

and how just the day before we went swimming and we were teaching her how to swim... you know because we don't want her to drown. She was catching on real quick.

I've felt sick all day. I couldn't be madder at myself. I thought maybe it would all feel better in the morning. But it didn't. I cried more. I laid in bed well past noon. I slept on and off. I had a dream. Sheye was in it. I was in Anthropologie, and she came in looking for earrings. i was standing right next to them, i called her over, she said thank you and I walked out so nonchalantly as if it didn't matter at all that I just ran into one of my fav. photogs ever...

Lucy would come in and wake me up every now and again. The one time she whispered to me, I'm sorry I didn't get myself out.

and thats when I decided I had better get out of bed. Perk up you know. For I was so so very blessed. My mom invited us over for a swim and a steak grill. It wasn't as fun as Saturday night but I wasn't laying in bed crying so it was good.

When my mind wanders back to the unbearable thought of what if, then I think... this is an amazing day.

This is an amazing girl!

Lucy Emma Jane. 3 day's after her 4th birthday. Getting ready for her first recital :)

Please be so aware of your babies! it's hot outside and even hotter in the car. Why isn't there something to prevent these things from happening??

Please take a moment to read "Ava's rule" for a larger image click here. Or for more info go here.

fun and fancy { free to dance your little heart out }

2010-06-18T20:37:00.001-07:00

Feeling a bit melancholy tonight, I bring you what has been a huge part of our life for the last year.

a day in the life { of a dancer }

It was so awesome that Natalie had a chance to be a part of the Dynamite Express team at Dance Connection Too. I love watching her dance. That girl can move! Oh and Lucy too :)

The girls had their recital last week. That means its over. Finito.

I spent most of the previous day at dress rehearsal. I was so wiped afterwards! I think we got home at like 9:30 PM!! It was crazy insane!! But of course I took that opportunity to play with my camera ALOT! I love this one I got of these ballerina girls!

and of course I can't decide on which processing I prefer. I just really love them both for different reasons!

( notice how she's putting her all into this move... i love it! )

Ok I'm not gonna lie... I was not entirely sure how Lucy would do on stage. You know it can be a little iffy with the young ones. i mean thats hilarious and all, but oh the joy of seeing your 4 year old dancing her heart out on stage! I was giddy to see her up there doing all her moves! And with a smile on her face :)!! oh yes it was divine...

Natalie was a little harder to capture as she was ALWAYS in the back! ( see her clear at the back of the stage... nice form huh?!? )

Once again... nice form... way in the back. I just sayin is all...

These are the "firecrackers" of the team, performing their dance Bend and Snap.

We showered these girls with roses afterward. i am so proud of them. They did so so good.

and so it is now over. or is it...

We decided to let Natalie do dance camp again this summer... this is where it all started for us last year! What have I done?!?!?! I love her being a part of such a great team, I can see how she beams with pride every time she wears her Dynamite Express dance shirt to school, which is alot because lets face it she's a bit of a show-off!! Just ask her to do the splits for you, she will eat it up like candy :) !!

And so why not you ask? Do you really have to ask? it. is. so. expensive.

Try-outs are tomorrow. She will make the team, I am sure of it. Here's a little look at some of todays action...

note: She's' the one with the orange tu-tu on her dance shorts... makes her kinda easy to pick out :)

Oh yeah and I am totally loving the FLIP!

...excuse me while I head to B&N to bury my head in some magazines... chow!

My first FLIP video

2010-06-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I bought the FLIP Mino HD.

I needed a video recorder to video Natalie's dance tomorrow, so she can practice it like crazy!!

...cuz tryouts are on Saturday :)

So I had me some fun testing it out...

YES I didn't wear any makeup today, and YES i look scary, and Yes i board (of course :) and Yes I love those shoes (thanks for the shoes ma) and Yes I am the newest member of the video addict club! and YES I am going to get the girls recital pics up by tomorrow (mark my word) and NO... Marley the dog some how didn't make the cut in the video, even though she's in the credits. Sorry Marley, maybe next time!

oh and YES this is the next song I am going to put on my blog... I love it. :)

The wonder of 4.

2010-06-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

... she was very specific...

I want a doll.
that has a bathtub.
and a diaper.
and a duckie.

The good little angles that follower her around must have been paying extra attention to her every little wish.

We happened to be on our way to the mall and the very first store we came to was a toy store, and in the window was a baby doll sitting in a little pink bathtub wrapped in a towel, wearing a diaper with a little rubber duckie on the shelf...

that toy store was NOT there last time I was at the mall.

This is a true story.

and she is very loved :)

even though she obviously has no clue how to swing a bat!! haha!!!

It wasn't much. But it made her happy. and so I am also happy.

Happy Birthday my sweet darling Lucy!

xoxoxoxo love you :)

p.s.- i may as well add that she pulled the arm off her baby doll the very next day while we were driving around town. The doll is ok but I had a pretty creepy baby doll dream that night. or perhaps I should say nightmare! eeks.

p.s.s- I suppose i should also add that Kassidy and Natalie stayed up late with me and helped me decorate so Lucy would wake up feeling extra special. They did such a cute job and they even made all the birthday hats custom with feathers and a boa! Love you guys :) you're the best big sisters ever!!

i hear GREEN is earth friendly.

2010-06-05T22:03:00.000-07:00

Look.

three cheers for making progress!!!

( remember... our forever remodeling job ... )

I'm not gonna lie. I'm the indecisive type. I went out and bought a bunch of knobs. I thought ...oh what a wonderful idea, then I can plug them in and SEE which looks the best...

yeah I still don't know :)

WELL actually, I do have a favorite. Unfortunatly my wallet has its own favorite.

We disagree alot.

So tell me... Which one is your favorite?!?!?!

or do you hate them all?

tell me!!!!

I mean, you input is requested and welcomed, thank you :) *sparkle*

p.s. ~ the fantastic little turtle thingy is NOT a knob choice. Natalie made it and she colored it perfectly to match her room :) She tells me she had a boy with an interesting shoe print step on it for just the right shell effect. Way to flirt Natty...